Body changes

If you've ever had a baby and were seeing an OB on the journey, you know that they weigh you at every visit. I'm at one visit every two weeks now, and after my next visit, every week after that til the Baby comes. So, for the past few weeks, I've been able to track how much I gain in 2 weeks.

Every time I go for my appointment and it's time for the weigh-in, it's like a show. The receptionist who weighs me always gets a good laugh at how low she has to tip the scale, and I laugh along with her, because I'm the only pregnant patient my doctor has had for whom she has written down a two-digit weight. When my doctor checks my file, we talk sarcastically about how I need to watch myself and take control of my horrendous weight gain.

Yesterday, it was confirmed that I weigh the same thing I did at the end of my last pregnancy. So this means from here on out, I'm going to be the heaviest I've ever been.

I weigh 110lbs right now.

Now, before your jaw falls off your head at how heavy I really am (HAHAHAHA...this is me being sarcastic, BTW), I want to explain that this 110lbs is doing a number on my body. My legs hurt, people! Also, I'd like to remind you that I'm only 4'7.5" and if I wasn't pregnant and this was my weight, I'd be considered overweight, according to my BMI (Body Mass Index...look it up and look up yours if you don't know what I'm talking about).

Also, all this weight gain means heavier baby, and heavier baby means bigger baby (although we're at the point where the baby isn't getting longer, he's now filling in), and bigger baby means bigger belly, and bigger belly means... ... ...

STRETCH MARKS.

I didn't get them with D-nut, but this time around, I've got them and it is taking a lot out of me to be okay with them. I only found them on Sunday and yesterday I found more. And this is all after telling my sister and friend that I didn't think I had any :(

Oh well, Mr.S and I have decided to call them "The Battle Scars" of this pregnancy. Sounds epic, right? It just goes to show that I have physical proof that this pregnancy has been the most challenging thing my body has ever had to take on...and remember, I'm a marathon runner. They're the marks that show that my body is surviving this and doing what it needs to do to make sure this baby gets here safely and soundly.

That doesn't mean I love them though. I was Googling "Bio Oil" last night to find out how to get rid of these things once my body stops stretching!! Until then, I'm rubbing my stick of cocoa butter on my belly until that thing is finished.

At a point

I'm in week 34. 4 weeks left until this little guy is ripe for the picking. 6 more weeks until this little guy is due. 6 more weeks + 1 day until I'm overdue. Which I hopefully won't reach.

I'm uncomfortable and moody. My pelvis feels like it's going to explode. My leg feels like it's gonna fall off. My back is begging me for mercy. My feet are somebody else's. My wedding band is calling home thinking it's lost around a chain on my neck because my ring finger, along with the rest of my fingers, is swollen. My skin feels like it's gonna tear layer by layer.

I'm complaining.

And I still have at least 4 weeks to go until I'm at full term. Wow.

And believe it or not, I've started getting some of this already...

V-Day from a Preggo

I love Pregnant Chicken.

DOWN with LEG CRAMPS

How'd you wake up this morning? I was greeted with a leg cramp. Rude awakening, seriously. I went to hold my leg and it felt like a jumbo marble had embedded itself in my calf muscles. FOR REAL. I whisper-yelled (you know what that is) "LEG CRAMP!!" at Mr.S who woke up freaked out like I yelled, "I'm going in to LABOUR!" and like a robot, he did that calf stretch we learned a few years ago in our pre-natal class. (Groggy, he did it on the wrong leg at first and then I whisper-yelled "OTHER LEG!!!!") Relief. But because he was so tired, I felt bad and told him it was okay before it was actually okay and stretched it out some more on my own. 4.5 hours later, my leg is still tight, but not cramped, thank goodness. I even found myself stretching in the middle of the parking lot at the subway station this morning because I was having trouble walking from the car.

I only had 2 leg cramps when I was Pw/D and you know what I was thinking about before I fell asleep last night? "Yesss! I haven't had any leg cramps!"

Argh.

Stretttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttch.

Read about them here.

 THE stretch.

Momma Nightmares

Pregnant women have very vivid dreams. I'm usually a very vivid dreamer, so when I'm pregnant, they're even more vividererererer. Last night, I started what will likely be a series of nightmares, as I had when I was Pw/D. I know it's my subconscious talking to me and I know exactly what it's saying. The dreams go like this.

I'm out somewhere, maybe a family party, maybe out with friends, and usually out for several hours, maybe even away for days. And then I realize it. I'm no longer pregnant. I've had the baby. And the baby is at home. Alone. For the whole time I was out. And Mr.S is out with me. I remind  him that we left the baby at home and we panic. We freak out until we find our way back home to find the baby just fine. And usually, when we find the baby, he's snuggled up in a car seat, a bouncer, or a crib, in a blanket, sleeping, or sitting contently as if he's been fed and changed.

I hate these dreams!

The one I had last night was definitely a different breed of the ones I had when I was Pw/D, because D-nut was in it. We were at a family party and everyone thought D was the new baby. And only then did I realize that we were missing our second son. We rushed home, a trip that felt like hours, to find the little baby, sitting contently in a car seat, looking at us like, "Oh hey! There you are! What's up?" And in this one, I couldn't remember ever having fed this baby. And I guess because I actually know how to breastfeed this time around, I fed him in my dream, and the little guy knew exactly what to do, was smiling at me, and seemed to age a few months as I fed him. How long had he been without food?! He ended up cheeky and happy and gosh, he was a cutie pie. That's the one thing that's good about these dreams. I get to see the baby, if I'm lucky. Most times, I didn't get to see much of the baby because I woke up as soon I found him.

So what is this referring to?

Well, many things I think. My fear that I'll be a bad mother. My fear that I've forgotten what to do with a newborn and when during the first 6 months of his life. My fear that I won't be able to divide my attention into two for each of my boys.

But it always ends that the baby is perfectly fine, and I think I know deep down that despite my fears, our baby's going to be a-okay...and so will we.

Being grateful - 20120124

I am grateful for Cheetos.

I had a craving for Cheetos the whole day. It was horrible. I'm not big on processed cheese, in fact, I don't eat "cheese" slices, CheezWhiz, or Velveeta (I made mac and cheese a few months ago using a recipe that required Velveeta and I almost hurled...and my morning sickness was already gone at the time), but powdered cheese or powdered "cheese"? Gimme. I love Cheetos. I love Smart Food. I love those cheese shakers at the movie theatres that you can use to slather your buttered popcorn in. Oh wait, you're not supposed to slather? Oops. Anyway, I was on a Cheetos mission today. I was really busy at work, but I couldn't get anything done until I had a heavily cheese-powdered corn chip in my mouth. So I searched. With access to really only one store (because I didn't wanna go outside), I hoped that they had it. And they didn't. So, I told myself I'd stop by the convenience store at the subway station and start fulfilling my craving on the subway. People would stare and judge me for giving my growing fetus Cheetos, but sometimes pregnant women have cravings and needs for things that others just don't understand, so I didn't care. Did that store have Cheetos? NOPE. So as I walked down the escalator toward the train, salivating at the thought of opening a bag of Cheetos, I accepted that all signs pointed to, "DON'T DO IT, TREEH!" and went on my way. When Mr.S got home, I told him I didn't have Cheetos, and that was that. He had asked me to save him one (haha, imagine if I had them and just saved him ONE Cheeto? I'd be a horrible wife if I did that). Then, off he went to basketball.

D-nut fell asleep early tonight and so I stayed with him in our room and found myself feeling useless (I really had no idea what to do with all this extra time on my hands. I couldn't fold our mountain of laundry because that required light in the room, and well, nothing was on TV except the State of Union address...boo) and then decided I'd try sleeping. For once, I actually wasn't sleepy. When Mr.S got home, he woke me up, which was strange because well, I was down for the night. But if you were me and heard the sweet words he said to wake me up, you would have gotten up too.

"Treeh, guess what? I bought some Cheetos."

I swear, I married this man for times like this! (LOL!) After he finished showering, I got up, and actually felt hungry and so I ate some Cheetos while he ate his post-basketball dinner. They were delicious.

Seriously.

Time for a pregnancy complaint

It's never a good time for a complaint, but I just want to say...

My butt hurts. Seriously. And for some reason, the right side of my butt hurts more than my left side. I thought maybe it was the way I was sitting at work, or something or that maybe I'm sitting too much but I don't think I'm sitting more than usual. And then I remembered having a similar problem when I was Pw/D. My butt's not used to the extra weight. It just sits on my butt until my butt bones are pressing into my seat. And it doesn't matter much if the seat is cushioned. I do find butt clenching helps. Gotta work my glutes! Haha!

Sniff sniff

I'm gonna go ahead and make what could be the biggest understatement of this pregnancy and say that I've been having a very hard time with morning sickness this time around.

I'm not going to elaborate.

Wait, except to say that, unless you've had morning sickness like this, you don't know all the different kinds of vomit there are.

Okay, I'm done with that.

Anyway, D-nut has had a runny nose for about a week now, and recently he developed a cough, neither of which seem to bug him in the least. He has given the Brother, Mr.S and me a cold as well. Mr.S and I both woke up this morning unable to pronounce our end-Ns and breathing through our mouths. Mmmmmorning breath.

I'm not complaining though.

This cold is the best thing that's happened to me in weeks. Not only is it distracting me from my nausea (which was especially bad this weekend), but the stuffy nose means I can't smell a thing. Not a bit of coffee. Not that old lady's strong perfume. Not that guy's B.O. I'm invincible!

Now I just need to get me some Puffs with Lotion and I'm an even  happier camper.

(Written October 18, 2011)

Inka Inka Inka

(that's a "curse" that my siblings and I sometimes use, to be funny, of course.)

Do you ever come across a jerk? (Okay, I know how crazy this post sounds already.) Well, I do sometimes, and especially lately, given that I'm feeling highly emotional and sensitive and well, I admit, moody and snappish. People see people all the time with unfavourable behavior and for people like me, inside, we secretly curse them and wish they'd be more courteous (e.g. by wearing no to less perfume).

Wanna know what my curse of late is?

I wish you could feel morning sickness.

Yep, I find myself wishing morning sickness on people. It's horrible. And especially horrible when the people I'm cursing are men, because they'll never know what this feels like.

I know, I'm crazy.

(Written September 7, 2011)

Firsts of Pregnancy #2

Just like with our first pregnancy, I started writing about it before I actually posted that we were pregnant with the intention of sharing it after the news was posted. Here's what I got around to writing... 


Morning sickness
My morning sickness kicked in at week 5. It was that annoying morning person some people might know (I don't think I know any) who you haven't seen in a while.

*JUMPS IN YOUR FACE* "Good morning friend! Long time, no see! I'm back in your life, and I'm here to. Break. You. Dowwwwwn!"

Seriously, I woke up one morning, and there it was. Swirling around in my stomach and in my head. I did not want to get up that morning. Morning sickness: 1. Me: 0.

As I think I made it clear when I was preggo with D-nut (which I will now abbreviate to "Pw/D"), I am not friends with nausea. We're never going to be friends. Nausea turns me into a monster, makes me grouchy, lazy, sleepy and utterly useless. Ask Mr.S. He's been doing EVERYTHING and I've been lying on the couch or on the bed, being useless. It's shameful, but just like when I was Pw/D, he was a good sport and an even better husband and father and helped me out, by letting me be useless. His thing, he keeps saying, is that I'm not being useless -- I'm preparing for our baby's survival by making a placenta.

I can't wait until this part is over. My thoughts are so negative and irrational lately and they're making me think crazy things like, "I wish I could skip the first three months of every pregnancy I have and just get to the good parts" or even as bad as, "I'm never getting pregnant again; this blows." I was looking at an old couple holding hands today and instead of my usual thought, "I hope one day that's me and Mr.S.", I thought, "Lucky couple, I bet she doesn't have morning sickness."

On the bright side, I'm not actually throwing up as much. Actually, only once. Morning sickness: 1. Me: 1. Let's hope I can keep it (somewhat) together for the rest of this phase.
--
I'm totally gonna get fat this pregnancy. The only thing that keeps my morning sickness at bay is eating...so I'm pretty much eating all day. I've already gained 3 pounds, which is a lot considering I didn't gain much until later on in our first pregnancy.
--
Brother said that the phrase "I hate this" now reminds him of me. I guess I say it a lot these days. And I say it more around him now just to be funny. I'm just really tired of feeling sick and tired all the time and worrying after every meal if I'm gonna get to keep it down. Morning sickness has been really bad this time around and I'm totally afraid that it'll keep on for the rest of the pregnancy. I just don't feel that glow yet and it's starting to feel like it'll never come. I hate this! (LOL!)

Craving
I had my first craving this weekend (week 7). I've been dreaming about Pad Thai, and not just any, but from Satay on the Road. And guess what? Mr.S is on the way to pick it up right now. Thank God for him. I woke him up from his nap to ask him if we could order from there and he groggily agreed. I reminded him that this was my first craving of the pregnancy and he cheered...and then went back to being groggy.
--
I don't even know what week this is anymore, but I keep dreaming about food. And then I've gotta have it. I dreamt specifically of a very hot and cheesily stringy Canadian pizza from Pizza Hut and conveniently, Pizza Hut is just a block away from us. That didn't stop us from ordering it for delivery though. What? We're busy!

Post-Canadian Pizza Hut Pizza - I just threw that stuff up. Not having Canadian Pizza Hut Pizza for the rest of this pregnancy. I hate Canadian Pizza Hut Pizza.
--
Lobster. I want lobster. I dreamt of lobster yesterday and I was wearing a lobster bib and everything. I was tearing that thing apart (ugh, that sounds so savagely!) like "Manhands" from Seinfeld and it was delicious. Too bad lobster is so darn expensive.
--
Pickles. Taste. So. Good. Right. Now. Grmmmmmmmmmm!!!!
--
Nutella. I need Nutella.

My Mop

In December, I got fed up and chopped off my hair. It was getting too thick and too heavy and I was shedding an average of a 1/4 strand a day (or something like that). It’s ridiculous. Being that my hair is so thick (I don’t think I’ve ever complained about my hair being thick before…HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!), I didn’t feel like many pregnant women do – I didn’t get the feeling that my hair was lustrous and voluminous and full of body and shine.

So, I chopped it off.

In a matter of weeks, it grew into a big mess, so I cut it again, shorter this time and more aggressively (I think my scissors are still mad at me).

Well guess what? It’s a big mess AGAIN. I look like a mushroom. And it’s not taking the same shape that it used to when my hair was short.

So, I’m thinking of taking my scissors to it again and REALLY thinning it out. The thing is, it’s getting harder and harder to reach back there. Suddenly the DIY thing isn’t so possible.

I’m not willing to spend money on a cut either because it’s just gonna grow back in 2 weeks.

And now, I remember. This is how I begin growing my hair.

Third trimester crazies – Part 1

It has begun. I think. So far, it’s manageable. I hope it stays that way.

Let me explain what I’ve been feeling, but first let me say that I still feel warm and fuzzy and all that good stuff. There’s just a certain level of discomfort that’s setting in. It’s more annoying, I’d say. But no pain or anything like that.

There are two ways I can describe it, and I don’t know if this is what it’s like for pregnant women in general, or if this is what pregnant women mean when they’ve been telling me that the third trimester is a female dog.

1. I have moments where I want to take my skin off like it’s a set of gloves.

2. I want to roll around on a carpeted floor because it feels like it’d be relieving.

I want to add that if I could summarize in one word how I’ve been feeling, it’s RESTLESS.

Regarding #1
I have these moments where I don’t want to sit still and after a while I feel like my body wants to “come out of my body” and go crazy. It wants to do sit-ups and somersaults, and my hands want to take off this skin that has trapped them in a fat suit for months. They want to make fists and play the piano.

Regarding #2
I’m not sure how I decided that carpet would be the best platform on which to roll my body. It just felt like it would feel exactly how I want it to feel. I don’t even know if I’ve ever rolled around on carpet before. And you would think that I could just go ahead and roll around on the carpet, but here’s the thing. I can’t do 360^o rolls because of my belly. I would end up rolling around on my back, and that’s not what I want (but it does make a funny mental picture, doesn’t it? HAHA!!! Okay, stop imagining now).

I’m just going to say what I’ve been saying all along in moments like this.

It’s okay, it’s temporary.

Cankles

Yes, I’m swelling. We all know that. My fingers are numb, my toes are stubby (where are they, by the way?) and my nose…well, let’s not talk about my nose.

My ankles, however, are still nice and petite. I really, really hope they don’t get taken over by cankle syndrome. Cankles scare me. I had a teacher in high school who had cankles and I remember being so distracted in class from staring at them because I just couldn’t understand how there was no end to her leg and beginning to her foot. It baffled me, just like the phenomenon we call the Platypus.

I like that I have skinny ankles and I just hope that they remain that way. Let’s also hope that my phalanges go back to their original sizes too. Oh, and my nose. We all need to have some hope for my nose.

I’m not THAT weepy

You know how they say not to mess with pregnant women because they’re all emotional and full of unstable levels of hormones? I’d like to say that I don’t think I’m all that bad, although, some may beg to differ. I admit though that I was a tad off (that’s what I’m calling it) in the earlier stages of this pregnancy.

I do understand what they mean though when they say that pregnant women are weepy. I don’t know how it is/was for every other pregnant woman, but I don’t find that I break down more often or anything. I’m not an emotional wreck. In fact, I find that I’m feeling more expressive and more cheerful in general. I mean, what do I really have to complain about?

But, as I said, I understand what they mean by weepy. In the odd instance when I do find myself feeling sad or frustrated and start crying, it’s quite a challenge to stop. I sit there, wondering why my tear ducts are so hyperactive and if this is what makes some women look older after they have kids; that the tears are so plentiful that they wrinkle women’s faces.

Poor Mr. S, after thinking I’m fine after a crying bout goes back to his business and then finds me crying again the next time he looks at me, thinking, “you’re STILL crying?” but trying his hardest to console me…AGAIN. It must be a trying thing to be the partner of a pregnant woman.

But I swear, I’m not THAT weepy.

Swelly

I’d like to think of this nicely and compare myself to a caterpillar in metamorphosis…only, I think I feel more like Heimlich from A Bug’s Life than a Monarch caterpillar.

I feel huge. I know I’m not actually as huge as I feel, but my hands tell a different story, as do my feet.

Being that I can’t really see passed my belly unless I’m sitting with my feet up, I find myself looking at my hands pretty often. They’ve become quite stumpy. I feel like I’m wearing man-hand gloves over my long, slim fingers. Ugh, they’ve forsaken me!!

As for my feet, which aren’t so bad because I barely see them, I can tell when they’re swelling. My feet start to get really hot and the only thing that helps is taking off my socks…which feel like they’re cutting off my circulation because my feet stretch them out to capacity sometimes. Who invented socks anyway? (The Greeks.)

I should count my blessings though. Also, it’s not all day long. My swelly-self seems to only come out in the late morning to afternoon and then goes into hiding. Sometimes though, she hangs around well into the night.

It’s only my hands and feet that are swelling right now. I’m holding on for my dear nose and my dear slim ankles almost as tightly as my dear life.

Growth

I already know I’m growing. That much is both obvious and expected. I search my belly frantically for stretch marks, which haven’t come, and I’m ecstatic about that.

Then there are my nails. My nails will not stop growing. I haven’t really had long nails since our wedding and I haven’t missed them. It seems though that no matter how often I cut my nails, they just keep growing. And, they’re STRONG. Where I would usually have a chipped or broken nail, say, if I accidentally closed a drawer on one, they stay strong. I’m not complaining. It’s just odd. So for any of you women out there who enjoy long, strong nails, get pregnant. It helps!

And then there’s my hair. I got a haircut a few months ago. It ended up being one of those shorter-in-the-back-longer-in-the-front ones, which I specifically asked not to have. I have nothing against those cuts, but with my anal tendencies, I prefer to be symmetrical all around. These days, I don’t feel the need to fix my hair every day and instead stuff whatever I can into a ponytail. But here’s the thing – my hair is growing like weeds, only in different spots. I end up bobbypinning sections of my hair that don’t need to be pinned because the other side does need it. See? Symmetrical! Also, with this cut and the strange lengths, the actual ponytail is so ugly. I appreciate pretty ponytails. Mine are not and I can’t really do anything about it.

I had initially planned to cut my hair short. Like, short-short, until we found out we were pregnant. Using the experiences of some of my sisters as the deciding factor on what to do with my hair, I decided not to cut it. Quick hair growth during pregnancy is normal and if I did cut my hair, it’d grow back so quickly so then it wouldn’t really be worth it.

And now, here I am. Belly. Disheveled hair. Long nails. I think I need me a spa day.

Back with a vengeance

My morning sickness faded…for a few days. Those few days were excellent. I was off the medication and was feeling like myself again and began to consider myself lucky that I was getting an early break from the madness.

And then it came back.

I tried going back on the meds, but it made me feel worse, and add to that drowsier than I had been when I first started taking it. I decided that I’d rather feel nauseous and actually throw up than have to feel like I did on the meds – continuously nauseous, drowsy, completely out of it and it also really dried out my throat.

The meds did curve some other things though, like my allergies and my gas, but I preferred to go the all natural way and just brave it.

Turns out that now, my most vulnerable time of the day is at night. The sun goes down and my stomach turns. I fear the night, but not the same way kids do when they go to bed. I become frightfully uncomfortable and feel like I fall completely apart as my husband tries desperately to put all the pieces together even while they’re still falling.

Please, let this part be over soon!!!!!!!

Nice Try

I went to a conference for work today. I don’t have any real maternity-work clothes (thank Heavens for casual business casual which is what we usually sport at work) so I decided to venture into one of my more loose-fitting tops and some dress pants.

What a mistake. I am totally paying for it now.

My pants are not done up. They’re being held together by a safety pin, which I have repositioned 4 times so far today. I’m at maximum allowance.

My top is long enough to cover this horrific picture but the empire waist has become a little tight….well, TOO tight for comfort. I’m tempted to completely unzip the side and pretend that I totally didn’t notice.

The top of my top plunges a bit, so I pinned it so that it’s not so open. Something must have happened since this morning because it looks like it’s gonna pop and my boobs are going to explode.

I now look like I’m dressed totally inappropriately for a work function. Someone find me a mu’u mu’u.

PregnALLERGIES rerevisted

Scratch that. They're back. Boo.