I am ready.

Twenty-six.

We have been apart for officially over a quarter of a century.That's a long time.

If the time we were apart were a person, they’d be celebrating their 26^th birthday today. At 26, many people are diving into their first careers, partying, finding themselves, developing hobbies, traveling…

And so, I think it’s time that I try that out with you. I think it’s time that we look into our path together, celebrate, find a place just for you and me, teach each other a few things, travel together. Imagine the places we could be together. Imagine the things we could show each other. And we’re not bound by the rules of the earth. Imagine. You and me could make up for 26 years of me thinking that we were apart, when all this time, we could have been closer than we ever could be, closer than maybe we would never be if you were still here in body.

I have you in spirit, and though the earth tells me that we are far, far away from each other, and my hand has been longing to hold yours and snuggle in the warmth of your embrace, my spirit has never once felt the coolness of an empty hand. You have always, always been there, holding my hand, helping to guide me, bringing me to places I never would have been if you were still here on earth.

But my eyes have been blind to your presence. Always longing for you and missing you and wishing I could be with you, when all this time, you’ve been right here, so patient with me, knowing that one day, I’d see the possibility and know the prospect of us still having a relationship while you’re “there” and I’m “here” is more than real; it’s happening.

I’m opening up my eyes today. Let’s go on an adventure.

Frozen

We had a fun kids-day-out yesterday and took the boys to watch Frozen. I, like many others, I’m sure, cried like a baby within the first 5-10 minutes (and then at regular intervals throughout the movie). Those Disney people sure know how to break you down quickly.

I’ll try to talk about this without spoiling the movie, but just in case, I’m going to issue a SPOILER ALERT in the event I fail miserably.

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

The movie, contrary to what most people first thought, is not about a snowman and reindeer. It’s about two sisters, their relationship, and the struggles involved. And a few more complications, but you have to watch it. Ah, now you get the crying, right?

I think the reason I cried so much was because I can relate. Being the youngest of five sisters, you can imagine how badly I wanted to play with them when I was younger. But when you’re growing up and your baby sister isn’t really in the same age group, playing with me must have been a task. There were many many times I wished we could all play Barbies or something together, but when you’re in your late teens, the last thing you wanna do or be seen doing is playing Barbies with your baby sister. And I understand that. But, there were also many, many, MANY times I got to hang out with my sisters, sometimes one-on-one, sometimes with more than one at once, whether it was going to the noodle place not too far from our house, playing with my hair, playing dress up, painting my nails (and then getting in trouble for it because we were too young to be painting our nails!), or dancing hula together.

Yes, I said hula. Sundays were my favourite days. We’d go to church together and then after, we’d go to hula. Although we weren’t in the same classes, we got to dance together sometimes, and then when we danced competitively, we danced together more often. And then sometimes we’d go out after and hang out. It was fun. I felt like a big girl, like one of the girls. I think that’s mostly why I miss dancing now, and why I’ve never gone back – because my sisters wouldn’t; although my oldest sister who lives south of the border still dances.  When we went to visit her in 2004, I had the pleasure of dancing with her again and although I was quite rusty, it felt so good to be dancing again. I think that’s why, even though it’s hard to admit, hula holds a soft spot in my heart. I see people dancing and I feel like crying (but when I see people dancing poorly, I wanna scream haha).

Then I actually grew up. And as I grew up, they had more and more things to share with me, things they wanted me to know, warnings, advice, mistakes they made and wanted me to learn from. They made my head stay on straight. And the age gap got smaller and smaller and now, well, sometimes I forget it exists. And so really, time healed that “wound” I had of wanting so badly to be like and with my sisters. Sister love is truly, truly, true love.

P.S. My brother’s not that bad either. ;)

Us, in order. Pic courtesy of my sister.

Twenty-Five

Today, 25 years ago, the world lost a beautiful woman. Slipping away for months and weeks before, she let go of the world and all she had been clinging to, things we often think impossible to let go of. A strong, loving, faithful husband. An outgoing, friendly first child. A good-headed, caring and self-less daughter. A little daredevil who was quickly becoming a nurturing woman. A smart, creative and sweet tween. A "bunky", clueless little dreamer. And a hyper, excited toddler, her only boy. Two amazing sisters, a strong mother and father who had been constants in her life, countless friends and family members. And let's not forget a life, with so many ups and downs, wins and losses, one she had worked so hard to fill, one with which she spent most of her time filling others' lives and that she spent all her time living for God. And so it was with full trust and faith that she let go of all of this and went to God, knowing that all would still be good without her being physically there. Maybe not right away, and for everyone she touched, in their own time, but it would all be okay.

to be continued...

Being grateful - 20121231

I am grateful for cheeseplates and cheap lobster.

We kind of improvised on the new year's eve plans this year. Every year, it seems, we kinda scramble a bit, and it gets to a point where we're not sure we wanna do anything and think about sleeping through it all, and waking up in a whole new year (sounds magical, doesn't it?). This year, we decided to hang out with The Brother and eat. And eat and eat and eat and eat.

We went out for Chinese food and had pretty much all our favourites, and that meant and included lobster. Yes. And then we made a family-friendly cheeseplate, that pretty much became an anythingplate.

2013's gonna be a good year.

20121229

I am grateful for funny family pictures

20121228

I am grateful for days off.

Mr.S took a day off today and we went for dim sum (I feel like we often go for dim sum when he's off) and then I went to watch Monster's Inc 3D with D-nutty. He was sooooo happy. He even got his own Mike Wizowski glasses.

Being grateful - 20121123

I am grateful for my bros-in-law.

My sisters and brother went to Michigan to be with our family there. My cousin passed away a few days ago. He had mental illness since he was a child, and as long as I can remember him, he and his family has always been awesome to us. With WyGuy still breastfeeding, it would have been hard for me to join them, so and I sent my and my family's condolences and best wishes for the family with them. This left me at home, siblingless. It was quite a lonely feeling.

And then my bros-in-law called me up and we met up for lunch...and then hung out for dinner. How could I say I felt siblingless?! I love those guys so so so so so much.

A new running motivation

I hope our kids love running as much as I do. And if they do, if I'm so blessed, I'm so excited to run with them.

This mom makes me excited...http://powerofmoms.com/2012/11/running-with-joy/

20120916

I am grateful for Jesus and Christianity. That, unto itself, deserves a whole other post, a whole other blog, on a whole other internet, in a whole other world.

WyGuy was baptised today. It was a beautiful ceremony, following Sunday morning mass. The actual baptism itself went well -- WyGuy was asleep until he jerked at the feeling of the water on his head and some of the water went up his nose and he yelped. Oopsies. He was fine though, and just has some pretty holy nasal cavities. 

I am also very very grateful for understanding friends. It's just always nice to have friends who understand. You don't really owe them any explanation, but you give one anyway, and they understand and tell you there was no explanation needed. I love that.

Memories - first day of school

Not many people can remember their very first day of school. My memories of that day are quite vague, but I do vividly remember my very first day of high school. I'm not counting the first day, which is one hour and you sit in your homeroom and then take off. I'm talking about the first day of high school, first day of classes, first day of navigating the hallways to find your classes, first day of pushing through crowds to get to your class in time (if you went to my high school, which was originally built to be a public middle school, you know that this was a scary experience unto itself), first day of all the older kids eyeing you with the looks they reserve solely for the Minor Niners. It was scary. I didn't want to go to school that morning. I was scared I'd get out of the car and puke all over the parking lot. 

I remember stuffing all my morning books into my bag for fear that stopping by my locker between classes was going to make me late. And being late was asking for more trouble. So, my bag was extra heavy that first day. 

That first day was also the first time I was recognized as the fifth child who went to that school with my last name. Yes, I was another one, the last girl, and I'm bright too, so you better give me good marks and let me get away with anything I want. But, at the time, I didn't know that was how it was gonna go. 

My goddaughter is having her first real day of high school today. I'm sure she's fine, but I was thinking of her this morning as I was feeling nauseous from being sick with the onset of what feels like a really bad cough and cold. I hope she was feeling braver than I was!

Being grateful - 20120609

I am grateful for gracious losers.

If you know any Filipinos, you know that Manny Pacquiao lost a fight today. I didn't watch it, but apparently he didn't actually lose it. He only lost it because they said he did, but his fighting didn't say so. Way to represent, Ninong!

Being grateful - 20120608

I am grateful for naps on long drives.

We headed up to Blue Mountain for a nice getaway with my side of the family, and we were nervous about the drive up...but the boys slept pretty much the whole way, giving Mr.S and I some time to just talk and stuff, like old times on long drives. :)

Being grateful - 20120606

I am grateful for survival.

The boys each had shots today. And Mr.S was volunteering so I was tackling this on my own. Heaven help me. And Heaven did!

Being grateful - 20120601

I am grateful for dim sum and umbrellas. With some siblings off work today, the boys and i met up with many, many members of my family for dim sum. We do dim sum well, I think. Our Chinese ancestors would be proud.

Anyway, it was pouring out. As I drove to the restaurant my mind raced all over, worrying about how I was gonna rush the boys in in the heavy rain. As I parked, I remembered how silly worrying was as my brothers ran over to rescue us with umbrellas and muscles in tow.

And we returned the favour, helping my sister and her family in the rain after dim sum. That's just what families do.

Being grateful - 20120530

I am grateful for Krazy Glue.

It fixed this:

Being grateful - 20120527

I am grateful for birthday celebrations with friends.

I finally celebrated my 30th birthday with friends today. It was nice to have so many there together and celebrate, well, me. Hahahahahaah! No really, it was nice to be able to do that with the people I've been closest to since I was in my teens. Here's what I wrote to them after we got home.


Hi everyone!

Thank you all so much for coming out tonight for dinner. And those who weren’t able to make it, thank you for thinking of me! [Mr.S], thanks for bringing everyone together!!

I know it’s been three weeks since my birthday, during which time many of you celebrated your own birthdays, but thank you all for your wishes over that time and today. Thank you for coming out on a Sunday night when many of you have to get up early tomorrow morning for work. Thank you for coming out to a family restaurant, to celebrate my thirtieth birthday, instead of a hip joint downtown with drinks and gourmet cuisine, and so, showing that you understand and embrace that my lifestyle is quite different from most thirty-year-olds (i.e. you guys)! I’ve been meaning to tell you guys this for a long time, but I’m so grateful that, despite how busy our lives have been and how much they’ve changed over the past few years with becoming parents to one and then two boys, our friendships with you all have never changed, never wavered, and that the only real difference has been that we just haven’t seen each other as often. You’re all such amazing aunts and uncles to our boys, and the love and care you extend to our kids makes us so happy.

That said, thank you most of all for being the most amazing friends anyone could ask for. We turned out alright, didn’t we? I’m so happy I got to celebrate turning thirty with my best friends, people I’ve grown up with, people I’ve grown to love and cherish, people who have been constants in my life for as long as I’ve known them. I am so, so blessed to have you all in my life. I love you all so much! Onward to FORTY! ;)

xo,
Treeh

Here are some pics from the night. We didn't manage to get everyone in, but I think most of us are here!

This is what our family looks like at 30.

Being grateful - 20120526

I am grateful for Asian grocery stores.

Don't you love how you can find foods there that can't be found elsewhere? And don't you love how some of them are delicious and some of them are, well, kinda, weird? And don't you love that some smell good and some just stink? I have yet to full on smell a durian. And taste one too. I also love how organized and neat some of them are.

I am also grateful for seasonal haircuts.

D-nut got what-will-be-his-annual head shave today. (I make him sound like he's a sheep who got sheared. Oops.) He looks so cute. And even more like his Poppa.

Being grateful - 20120525

I am grateful for hanging out.

We hung out with Brother today. It was nice. I feel like every time we hang out at his place, I'm baking, and usually to fill an order, but today we just hung out. It was nice. We ate at one of our fave Filipino diners and then headed over to his place, which is just up the street.

Being grateful - 20120523

I am grateful for big brothers.

D is already a really good big brother. Yes, he does have jealous moments and moments when he craves attention, but not nearly as much as we thought he'd have. He loves kissing his little brother and is enjoying watching him grow, right along with us. You can see him starting to itch for a buddy, someone to play with him, but he's being very patient and very gentle. It's so sweet.

Being grateful - 20120520

I am grateful for fireworks.

We introduced D-nut to Sparklers today, in the spirit of Victoria Day. And, just as expected, he was SOOOOO excited! We lit a few and put them in the ground and he loved it. We also saw some fireworks up in the sky and he liked those too. WyGuy slept inside the whole time. So excited to have the two boys up and about and do this for both of them some day soon. :)