So after a brief discussion with various members of my in-law family last night about how I should give
Insanity a try, I found it quite disconcerting that the main reason I feel I can't try it out is because I don't have time. They told me it's only 45 minutes and I sat there, mentally scanning my calendar for a 45-minute opening. And I know it's time that's stopping me, and not a lack of drive to do it, nor a fear that I can't do it. (I think I actually like things like this. P90X was pretty fun while I was doing it...until I moved. That meant a stop somewhere between 50-70 days in. Boo. My abs did the opposite of continental shifting and formed into an abdominal Pangaea. It was sad.)
We just came back from a family trip to Cuba (more on that later for sure) and while there, I decided to suck it up (and in, literally, with "it" being my belly) and sport a few bikinis. A total eye opener. I hadn't tried on any of the ones I packed before we left and as I put some of them on, I realized two things:
1. My tummy isn't
that bad (for now?), but I think I'll regret getting two navel piercings for the rest of my torso-bearing life unless I get them re-pierced, which wouldn't be until we're done having kids, which, in turn, wouldn't look good on a woman approaching her 40s. Maybe having a tight stomach would help me feel more confident?
2. Where did my boobs go? I had to repack a few of the bikinis I brought because my chest just couldn't stay comfortably concealed in them. Mr.S kept telling me I could wear them when I'm pregnant or breastfeeding again. Isn't that a pretty picture?
So, I decided that maybe I should just go for broke and work on my stomach until I'm flat as a board...a washboard perhaps? (Heehee.)
Anyway, I'm totally digressing.
I don't have 45 minutes. Why is that? What is it about being a working mother and having a 16-month old that makes me have no time for myself? And what is it that drains me so much that I lack the energy I need to get things done? Or is this all self-explanatory in a way?
Last night while I was trying to fall asleep, my mind kept stabbing at the idea of freeing 45 minutes in my day to do something, whether Insanity or some other activity (I have a few ideas). I remembered that when I first went back to work, and I was struggling with the beginnings of this challenge of figuring out the Work-Mom-Wife-Treeh balance, I gave meditation a try. I've been hearing a lot about meditation recently, as in, in the past few days. I think all roads are leading me to try it again...which requires another 10 or so minutes to free. I think that's easier than 45 minutes.
When I gave meditation a try a few months ago, I found it quite challenging. I kept falling asleep. Or my mind would race from this thought to that thought, from this task to that task. Or I'd stop and remember I was supposed to do something somewhere in that 10-minute time. Yeah, it wasn't working for me and so eventually, it didn't make its way back into my schedule.
But, this time, I'm willing to try again, only I'm not sure I know how to do it properly. I'm not sure how to train my mind to clear all thoughts, focus, look inward and stay calm. Where is my mind supposed to go? I know I need to read up more on meditation, but I was wondering -- if you have any tips, please share!!