I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been for a whole year now.
Some of the most common words said to us before we got married were, “Good luck. Marriage is hard.”
So far, I have no idea what these people are talking about. I realize that when you add more variables to the equation, it gets more challenging, but this past year has been a dream. I like to think that years from now, we won’t forget what this past year was like and we’ll be able to continue to live in this state of euphoria for years to come, or at least, for the most part. If this year is indicative at all of how our marriage will be overall, I’ll be a happy camper.
It’s still hard to believe that we’re married. I know I promised in my
second post that I would talk all about the wedding experience, and I have a really long draft, but I’ve decided to (really) condense it, and well, keep some of those things in my heart instead of online. There are still so many things about that day though that I’d like to share.
My Speech
I had maybe 25 drafts of my speech that I had written anywhere between two years and 2 days before our wedding. I had trouble deciding which one to go with, and the ones that sorta took bits from others ended up being too long. There’s only so much spewing from the heart that guests can take until they find you and your new husband boring. So when it came time to finally print one, I couldn’t find the files – ANY of them. I had lost my speech and it was the night before my wedding. It was actually a blessing that I had lost it. I sat there with my laptop staring at me with the same face I had. BLANK. I ended up writing my speech on only a few minutes – it was clear, concise, not too long (right?) or at least not as long as the others I had written, for sure, and it said everything I had wanted to say. It’s rare that I’m able to do that.
My wedding gift
The gift I gave to my would-be-husband came in several parts, some of which were things I had been putting together from before we even started dating officially, to things I had purchased not long before the wedding. They were things that he’d enjoy years from the wedding day, things he had already enjoyed and will enjoy again and things he’d enjoy that day. I couldn’t decide on just one gift and I’m glad I gave him his gifts the way I did. Each gift had its own significance and was given to him from me through each of his groomsmen as well as his parents, with a note and instructions – the entire thing was similar to the way he had proposed to me.
Bad luck shmad luckYou know how they say it’s bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding? Well guess what? We did. We made a point to go to confession before the ceremony and had tried to time it so that we wouldn’t run into each other. The line for confessions ended up being a bit longer than we had thought. When I walked into the church at the time we had allotted for me, the first person I saw was him and I sorta froze in my tracks and then proceeded to the end of the line. It was kinda funny running into him at that time and that place because that was actually where it all started. It was a nice way to bookend our courtship.
That was the last time I saw him the way I used to see him.
The Walk
The walk down the aisle was surreal. Really, there’s no other word for it. In my mind, I had pictured this moment over a million times and never once did I imagine other people there. I’m not sure why. But still, as it was happening, the only person I really saw was him and he was a totally different person from that moment on. It really was a truly spiritual experience.
I didn’t actually walk down the aisle. My legs literally gave, and this is me -- I have strong legs (haha). My parents had to really hold on to me and during the smiling and the tears (oh my, did I do the ugly cry!) they still kept asking if I was okay because they had to practically carry me.
The Readings and the Hymns
My husband and I chose the readings, the intentions and wrote some of our own intentions as well. It’s kind of rare to find that both partners make the wedding plans together, but we felt that since it was OUR wedding, we should make all the decisions together. All in all, it was a collaborative effort, extremely fun and quite seamless. My favourite reading in the whole wide world was read by my Goddaughter as the second reading. I was so thrown by how perfectly she read it. The readings to choose from were all beautiful, but the ones we chose seemed to be perfect for the type of people we are. (However, I had no idea one of the readings was actually about sexual love until our priest talked about it in his homily!!!)
The hymns were sung by one of our favourites – my brother-in-law’s sister. She helped us choose which hymns would work and also incorporated our personal choices into the ceremony. I chose the closing hymn, my absolute favourite, For The Beauty of the Earth as composed by John Rutter, and my husband chose the accompaniment for the opening, played by one of our bestfriends on his guitar – Unbelievable by Craig David and Only You by Joshua Radin.
Our Rides
In keeping with the eco-wedding theme, we had some Priuses to drive the wedding party in and we travelled around in style in a Smartcar. It’s different from any car you’ve ever driven and I admit at first I hated it, but the longer we had it (we had it for a few days) the more I grew to love it. And when we filled up the tank before we returned it and saw that it cost us less than $15, I loved it even more. I feel like if I were to choose a car that’s like me, it’d be a Smartcar. My hygienist has one though and when I told her we’re thinking of getting one some day, she told me she doesn’t recommend it because they’ve changed it so that it takes only premium gas instead of diesel since owners were complaining it didn’t have enough power. There were other reasons too, so when the time comes, we’ll see if it’s worth it. It’d be nice to drive around in our wedding car every day :)
For Our Guests
When you go to a wedding, it’s expected that it’s about the couple. And of course, why not, right? We felt that it might be nice to have our guests—our family and friends, know how involved they were in the entire day, the entire journey that we’ve been on. Each table had several photo trees. These photos were of pictures of the guests at the tables from memorable moments we had with them – just something they could take in during the night, and after, if they wanted, they could take whatever photos they wanted home. Our main giveaways were trees – seedlings and seeds to plant that would help our guests help the earth, which was one of our main goals with the theme we chose. We also had candles that we had made ourselves with beeswax and non-lead wicks which burned the entire night. Since they were made from natural materials, they released less toxins in the air than other kinds of candles. Our guests took these home as well. We still have several boxes full that weren’t taken home but we like to use them around the house.
Our First Dance
We danced to “our song” (do teenagers still do that?) and I think the entire moment was surreal. We had intended to tack on a funny dance after but we didn’t have time to finish the choreography. I think it was better that way because it ended up just as I had imagined it all these years and it sorta felt like we were the only ones in the room, even though everyone was there. Even though we didn’t do anything as silly as originally planned, it was still us.
The SpeechesTo this day, our family and friends still tell us about how we had some excellent speeches that night. What can we say? We hang out with excellent speakers! I think the speeches each had the perfect amounts of funny, sentimentality, humiliation (for us, of course!) and charisma. They were perfect lengths too. We LOVED them.
Paper paper paperMy sister was the genius behind our branding. Everything was green, coordinated, and if you know me, you know I’m all about coordination and green. It just keeps everything nice and tight. In our home now, we’ve put together all our stationery from our wedding and it’s so beautiful to look at. Everything matches and everything is us. Also, everything that was printed for before we were married was square, and everything for after was circular. I hope that our guests saved some of this stuff – it was so beautiful!
The Cake
We had a very simple cake. It was delicious, and I think that’s more important than what it looks like. Remember, some bakers put icing on styrofoam and add it to the cake. Styrofoam probably doesn’t taste very good. The big thing with our cake though was our bobblehead. One day, we thought of it and magically, we found a company that made them. All you had to do was take a few pictures of yourself, send them in and you’d get the proofs to approve, then the finished product. It’s definitely the best bobblehead in my husband’s collection.
The Heroes
Our wedding party was made up of a group of phenomenal people. Our Matron of Honour, Man of Honour, Best Man, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, Flowergirls, Ring Bearer, Coin Bearer, Principal Sponsors, Secondary Sponsors, Readers, Emcees and of course, our parents made up such an amazing team. Our wedding party was MASSIVE. Of course, there are much larger, but in a typical wedding like ours, it was big, and well, it’s because we’re fortunate to have big families and lots of friends.
It was so great to work with them and they were always so patient and so willing and available to help. Some of them who’ve been through this before always offered excellent advice and ideas and we were so grateful for that. We had a great time whenever we got them together and sometimes we even wish for reunions, but then we realize it’d be a little weird to have a wedding party reunion. There are always family and kids parties when we’ll all be together down the road, right? ;)
My Husband
How could I not go on about my husband? He was half the reason for the day!
Since we’ve been married, he’s a totally different person to me. The change that some people talk about when they marry someone sometimes refers to adjusting to habits, to living together, to weird quirks, but for me, the biggest change was not in things he did or things he said, the way he acted or the way he looked (even though he finally shaved his beard after growing it for MONTHS). It was in the way he was to me and the way he treated me.
He’s always treated me well, but it was different. It’s hard to explain. It’s like there’s more love in everything now, even though there was love before. It all just feels really different and really well, nice! It’s about knowing that I have this person, this partner with me for the rest of our lives and we’ve promised that we’re going to continue to love each other no matter what. It’s knowing that I’m going to create life with this man and we’re going to work together and do our best to make things work with the lives we create. It’s an unwavering faith that we are going to be just fine, because we’ve been that way all along. It's about continuing to make each other better people, because that's exactly what he does for me. He makes me want to be better, be bigger, all while making me love the person I already am. He makes me want to make the world a better place so our children can benefit and do the same for their children.
I feel my husband’s love just like how I feel God’s love. It protects me. It heals me. It nourishes me. It keeps me strong. There’s nothing like love like that.
And so, a year later, we remember the first day we lived happily ever after.
