Stress

I pride myself on being someone who deals with stress well...or at least I did. I've been dealing with a whole other kind of stress for the past month and I don't think I know how to deal with it yet...and it's making me sick. Literally.

Today is my fourth sick day in 2009. At this rate, I'm gonna be out before the end of the quarter. I really need to learn how to deal with this so that I can be productive. Maybe I should go back to morning yoga or convince myself it's warm outside so that I won't dread going for a run or start taking Cold FX so my immune system stays sharp...ugh.

Happy Friday.

Daily Case of the Mondays

We’ve been having some car trouble for the past week and so, since Charlene (our car…and yes, of course it has a name!) has been sick or in the shop, we’ve been doing the total commute to work, “total commute” being that we’re taking the bus in addition to the subway.

I realize that in a few months, we will no longer be able to park at the station parking lots with our Metropass, and we are unwilling to pay cash for parking. So, I better get used to this bus thing.

Yesterday I left work early to pick up the car before the shop closed. Tired from a crazy week, I fell asleep on the bus, as usual. When I next opened my eyes to see where we were, we had only passed one stop (on the Express)…an HOUR later. Gotta love blizzards. Needless to say, I wasn’t able to pick up our car on time, but Husband was able to pull some strings – long story short, we have our car.

Today is Thursday. Having felt the way I’ve been feeling for this week, i.e. fighting what may be the onset of the flu or a really bad cough and cold, tired, stressed, sleepy, lazy, you name it, I wondered if my droopiness (I also feel droopy…I’m not talking about my chest) was visible on the outside. I took a look around at my fellow passengers, one of whom was my Husband, and noticed EVERYONE looked droopy. Then I decided to count on my way to work how many people I see who look happy while they’re on their way to various destinations.

This morning: ZERO.

Cheer up Charlies, alas tomorrow is Friday.

Subconscious life changes

One of my friends and I had been talking about dreams a few weeks ago. She’s very good at interpreting them and at the same time I’m very interested in dream interpretation, so the conversation was really exciting! Anyway, I was telling her about the kinds of dreams I have sometimes, recurring symbols, absolute meanings of various symbols, recurring dreams, etc.

There are a few things I dream about that always lead to the same thing in reality. I don’t know if it’s foretelling or coincidence, but in either case, I find it extremely fascinating.

1. Teeth: If I dream that my teeth fall out or a tooth falls out, I undoubtedly go through a life change. I find that the intensity of my reaction in my dream is directly proportional to the kind of life change. The last dream I had like this was just before I got married. One of the ones before that (I must have lost at least 5 teeth, oh the horror!) was just before I moved out.


2. Death: I don’t know how it is for other people, but whenever I dream of someone dying, as horrible as it feels in the dream, in reality it’s sort of “good luck” for that person –something good tends to happen, like a promotion, good news, things like that. I haven’t really had one of these in a while, but if I dream someone dies, hope that it’s you! (How horrible does that sound?)


3. Pools: I’m not clear yet on what this symbol means for me. A lot of interpretations say that pools have to do with dealing with emotions, cleansing, desire, pleasure…and all of these are probably true…because every dream I have with pools also includes my children.

In the past few weeks, people have been approaching me telling me that I’ve been in their dreams…and in most of these cases, it’s been me and my husband in the dream…and in some of these cases, these people have never met my husband, and in some of these cases, they’ve dreamt we got married again. I wonder what’s going on there.

Last night, I had a dream I was about to put something in the oven in a glass container that was broken...it looked more like it was melted in one corner than broke, and I remember staring at it thinking “I think this might be safe to use…”

Here’s what I read about dreaming about broken glass…
“To see broken glass in your dream, signifies a change in your life”

I wonder…what it all means...

Hair

I am definitely not one for keeping my hair constant. I’m sure I’ve blogged about this before.

I’m a fan of change, especially when it comes to my hair. I don’t like to keep it the same way for long and if it’s starting to look like it’s growing, chances are, I have no idea what I’m doing with it next, and I’m probably not growing it for some special occasion (I got married already, remember?) unless I have to. My hair has a tendency to look the same whatever cut it is. I’m not sure why. Maybe because it’s so thick? But any time, it’s short, it looks the same whenever it’s short even if it’s a different cut. Any time it’s long, it looks the same whatever the cut. Only when it’s REALLY short does it look different sometimes.

I’ve been having this debate with myself about whether to grow it or cut it, dye it or leave it, do something or do nothing. I’ve come to the conclusion that even if I did grow it for the purposes of doing all sorts of fun things with it, I don’t really have the time to play. (You should see my hair right now – 4 braids in no particular organized sections of my head and then because the ends are all sticking out, it’s rolled up and tucked under a clip…and yes it looks just as ugly as you’re imagining it is. I didn’t have time to make it look pretty…I’m a wash and go/wash and sleep girl.)

So, I’m cutting it. I will cut it myself instead of going somewhere and paying someone to do whatever they want because I have no idea what it is I want.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

So here's what's transpired, but first, this is my response to Joyce's comment...

Some short styles...


Some curly...

And long


And for fun!

But this is what I went with...

Don't mind the post-work hair...

LOST

My mind is total ooze today. I’ve spent more time trying to figure out every scene of yesterday’s two episodes than doing actual work. Lostpedia is destroying my life!!!

Highlights of my distraction

• “Neil” is from Never Been Kissed, which I haven’t seen, but looks familiar because he’s in a whole slew of other stuff.
• White haired lady aka Mother Time as she is called in Lost forums, is actually “Ms. Hawking”
• Foucault pendulum – Look. It. Up.

to be continued

Cholera strikes again

I'm only a few seconds into my newsletter from GOOP, which is on SEE and it's got a list of favourite books from some of Gwyneth Paltrow's friends. I'm hyperventilating at seeing "Love in the Time of Cholera". Did I totally miss something when I read that book?


BBL.

I’m back. Okay, so “hate” is a very strong word (but you did enjoy that way-back-play-back reference to “Men on Film”!) so I’ll say that I did not enjoy it. There. While I didn’t develop a liking to some of the main characters or parts of the plot, I did enjoy other things…like the setting, or at least the way I had imagined it in my mind. Yes, that’s pretty much all I enjoyed about this book. It’s hard to describe why it wasn’t “my cup of tea” without giving the story away. I guess, much like every other book, you have to read it to find out if you don’t like it…and also if you do.

On another note though, I have read some of the others on the list or am in the process of reading them (ahem Anna Karenina…that is one MOTHER of a book) and I did like them. Some of them are re-reads.

January 20

Absolutely amazing.

January 20...so far

It's 9:26AM on January 20th. Everyone knows today is history-in-the-making. It feels like a good day already.

And this morning, I was told I am spectacular.

Yep, this is gonna be a good day!

For the love of wonderful people

I pulled a first in 2009 this weekend -- I went to a mall. But that's not important...

So this weekend was automatically a good one for two reasons: 

1. My future sister-in-law's bridal shower, that my Mom-in-law, cousins-in-law and I have been working on...I LALALALALALALALALALALOVE showers!
2. I took a trip to Michael's.

Now, any avid Michael's lover knows two things:

1. There aren't enough locations in the GTA
2. You can't go without THE coupon in the flyer -- because they won't just give you the discount anymore :(

Because I don't live near any Michael's, I don't get the flyer, so when I go, I go in hopes that I will find a flyer lying around somewhere near the entrance or left on a shelf or maybe there'll be one right by the cashier. The last time I went, I totally forgot and as I walked out, I saw a flyer and remembered, but figured "Aw heck, I paid already, and maybe someone else who needs it more will take it", plus I didn't have anything expensive that would have made the coupon really worth it. And then as I walked to the car, I realized they over-charged me for one of my items and I went back in so they could adjust it. 

ANYWAY, when I went this weekend, I found no flyers anywhere. I was quite sad but went around the store adding stuff to my cart in hopes that maybe when I'd get to the cashier, they'd let me have the discount since I don't get the flyer...and if not, that was okay too because everything I was picking up seemed to be on sale...except my paper cutter. Oh mama, I'd been eyeing it for a while, especially after seeing my sister do magic with hers and developing a liking to the rotary ones over the guillotine ones. Given that I had a lot of cutting to do this weekend, I really wanted it. So I added it to the cart, keeping in mind what I was hoping would happen at the cash, and if not, I could always come back some other time and for the time being, make do with an exactoknife and self-healing mat (booooo).

So after roaming the aisles, I found myself lining up and so I asked the cashier...then she directed to me flyerland.com. WOMP WOMP. So much for that. So I took the papercutter out of the cart and told her I'd just come back for it.

THEN, just as a frown started to form, I heard, "Are you looking for the coupon? You can have mine." There was an older lady behind me in line pulling her flyer from her purse and she was handing it to me! I told her it was alright so that she could use it for herself but she insisted that I take it. Afterall, her basket was just full of balls of yarn (seriously).

A total stranger just gave me $32. How sweet is that?

I paid for my purchases and then continued to thank her profusely.

And now, for anyone else who may want it, print this out before you go!

GOOP

My cousin introduced me to a website that is quite inspiring.

GOOP

It's a website by Gwyneth Paltrow and it has all sorts of things. Things to make. Places to go. Things to get. Things to do. Things to be. Things to see. Make. Go. Get. Do. Be. See.

Here's what she said about it:

"[GOOP.com is] a collection of experiences [of] what makes life good. My life is good because I am not passive about it. I want to nourish what is real, and I want to do it without wasting time. I love to travel, to cook, to eat, to take care of my body and mind, to work hard. I love being a mother who has to overcome my bad qualities to be a good mother. I love being in spaces that are clean and nice."

"Make your life good. Invest in what's real. Cook a meal for someone you love. Pause before reacting. Clean out your space. Read something beautiful. Treat yourself to something. Go to a city you've never been to. Learn something new. Don't be lazy. Workout and stick with it. GOOP. Make it great." From justjared.com

Isn't that so cool? Now go sign up for the newsletters.

Telephone Etiquette

Have you ever noticed how much your voice changes depending who you’re talking to or what you’re talking about? For me, when I’m talking to friends or family, I tend to talk quickly and loudly because well, I’m excited. For work, I’m usually more quiet, my voice lowers for some reason if it’s serious, or I’m my usual self if I’m talking to members who know me and who I know and I’m more professional – or at least I try to be. For telemarketers (although I don’t have this problem anymore, thanks to the Do Not Call list!), I’m quick and polite…but blunt – as in, I hang up the phone after I’m done speaking. I know it’s rude, but when I say I’m not interested and they don’t listen, that’s rude too.

Something else that could be considered rude or poor telephone etiquette is talking at the same time as the person on the other end. Usually the concept of the exchange is pretty simple – You talk, I talk, You talk again, and then I talk again, and so on. BUT, do you notice that towards the end of the conversation, it’s not such a big deal? We can often say “Thank you” and “Bye” or “Have a good day” at the same time, and it’s fine.

Have you ever done one of these?

Me: Hi _______, how are you?
Other: Oh I’m good, how about you?
Me: Good! How’re you?

Duuuuuuh…is it obvious that I’m not really paying attention and that I guess I don’t care enough about how you’re doing to listen to what just happened? Honestly, I do care, but I must be really distracted.

How about this?

…approaching end of conversation of a call where I called someone…
Other: Okay, well, I gotta get going. Thanks for calling!
Me: You too!

Uhhhh…OOPS. I tend to do that when I’m thinking that they’ve said something like “Have a good day” or “Take care”.

I’m such an idiot on the phone sometimes. I need to stop multi-tasking so much.

The “The Gap” Game

When I worked in retail, it was required that we greet customers as they enter the store, as they enter our zone and then thank them as they leave. This is very likely the case in all stores and you all know what I’m talking about.

There’s even that game where you have to try to get through the store, in most cases, this game referred to The Gap, without receiving a “Hi” or “Can I help you with anything?” from any of the employees. I think retailers are getting more and more clever these days, especially with the layouts of their stores where the store front is big, but the entrance is not, ensuring each customer is greeted as they move through the store bottleneck. Oh and what’s with the “What’s goin’ on?” at Abercrombie & Fitch stores? I’m usually so flabbergasted at how different it is from the usual “Hi, how’re you?” that I just smile back and don’t answer. I don’t imagine the staff there get much of an answer anyway, and if they do, it’s probably a resounding, “Nothing.” (I realize they’re not actually asking to find out what’s going on with you.)

I find it to be bad customer service when I’m not greeted, but I also find it to be bad customer service if I’m greeted too much. The latter makes you feel like retail prey. I also think that if you can tell that the person helping you is working on commission, something’s not right.

One time husband and I had a waiter who we could swear was on commission. It wasn’t like he was trying to work up his tip, because the shpeel he used on us, trying to upsell our appetizer, main and dessert came off as pushy and rude. Usually if you want a good tip, you’re extra friendly, courteous and prompt. Not this guy. Plus, when we didn’t order the meal that would get us (here it comes!) a deck of cards (ohhh ahhh), he threw our straws at us when he brought our drinks. Nice.

You can’t really upsell meals. People will only eat until their stomachs hurt or they’re full, and that’s rarely at the same point where they’re out of money. People don’t really go to restaurants to spend more money than they intend to. Going to a restaurant and eyeing your neighbour’s cheesecake and then ordering it isn’t really the same as going to a store and tacking on accessories to your main purchase. You don’t impulse buy at restaurants.

Anyway, the point of this is, I haven’t gone shopping since Christmas, and the thing is, I don’t miss it one bit. This is working out well.

Morning in-bed abuse

Now wait, before you think I'm getting all kinky on you, set your mouse away from the comment link and read on...

Husband and I are not morning people. We are with each other, but I think if any other person were to see us in the morning, they'd think we're crazy. We try very hard to get the other person to get out of bed, whether it's dancing so awkwardly that the other person ends up waking up laughing or sitting on the other person and kissing them with their morning dragon breath until they can't take it anymore. On weekends we're more approachable, provided we've seized the opportunity to sleep in...in which case, we're "afternoon people" (just kidding sorta).

There are times though, where we're not morning people with each other, but this is totally unintentional. Having been solo-sleepers for most of our lives like most people, and while getting used to sleeping in the same bed every night, we've had a few mishaps. I've elbowed him many times, often in the face. He's kicked me in the middle of the night several times (and it's not fun when you have a morning run the next day).

Stuff like this hasn't happened in a while though, and I think it's because we've learned to sleep in harmony. I've also learned to accept that he's not as huge of a cuddler as I am, so I'm okay with turning to face the outside of the bed. He's learned to accept that I'm a lover of cuddling, so he's okay with turning over to me and being "the big spoon".

This weekend though, something odd happened.

Every night, before we go to bed (or before he carries me to bed because I have a horrible habit of falling asleep on the couch at 9:30PM), he gets me a glass of water and places it on my night table for when I get thirsty in the middle of the night, and gets an ice cold glass of water for himself because he likes feeling refreshed before sleeping.

For some reason, on this particular morning, I asked for his glass of water. I'm not sure why, because it was probably the same temperature as mine since it was morning. I reached over to mine on my right but then asked for his, on my left. I turned over to get it from him and CRASH! I elbowed the glass of water he was holding and water was alllllll over our bed and pillows. Mind you, this was a morning, on the weekend, so we had no immediate plans to get out of bed earlier than we had to. We stripped the bed, took care of the sheets, aired out the mattress, and by night time, everything was back to normal.

But there's more.

Since he's on an earlier shift this week, he was up before I was. He came up to me to wake me up and instead of seeing him doing some craziness to get me get me out of bed, I opened my eyes to see him approaching my face with a rolled up tissue stuffed up his nose. The man had a nosebleed this morning. What a rude awakening for him, and what a weird thing for me to wake up to! And on Monday morning too!

Here's hoping tomorrow morning is sweeter.

2009: Face fear of driving in the winter - CHECK!

I did it! And I didn't even plan to until next winter! (see here)

I drove Charlene, our little Mazda 3, through the snow on Saturday night. This being my first time driving in the winter, in the snow, as it snowed, it came as no surprise that there was some slipping and sliding, but on this outing with my little-big brother, we made one left turn the entire way (there would usually be at least three) because he knew some secret ways to get there and also, from recent events, that fish-tailing is more likely on left turns...or at least for him it is.

It was a fun little adventure and I'm sorta glad husband wasn't in the passenger seat screaming for his life.

Informative TV - Oprah

It's 2009 and Oprah knows exactly what to do...it's half-way through the week and I'm enjoying her Best Life Series so far. Hope you're tuning in this week as well!

Interrobang

As both a self-proclaimed and friend-proclaimed (that is so not the correct term, if it even IS one) grammar nazi, I've decided to dedicate a post specifically to my favourite punctuation mark. I don't really use it because it's not widely used at all (heck, there isn't even a key on a standard keyboard for it...for shame!). It's actually several decades old and can be considered a form of slang...for more information, click here.

It's both an exclamation mark and question mark in one. What's better than mixing two punctuation marks, and giving it a name!? (Or, this sentence could read "What's better than mixing two punctuation marks, and giving it a name‽")

Enter INTERROBANG.

Enjoy.

What I Learned in 2008

I learned a LOT this year...I initially had a list of probably around 60 things, and I've condensed it (yes, this is condensed)...enjoy!

1. Quantity is over-rated - quality is way better.
2. Revelations about yourself aren't just freeing for you but for other people, especially if it becomes a mutual learning experience.
3. It's better to set aside your pride and get help.
4. People grow up on their own time and when they're ready.
5. Who knew that mixing your circles could be so fun‽
6. Any trip, even of the business nature, can be fun as long as you take what you want from it.
7. Exploration of places you thought you knew can be even more adventurous than exploring new places.
8. Keeping a journal/journals is both therapeutic and nostalgic.
9. Celebrating little things reminds you of how significant they still are.
10. People really do care about the Earth and saving it.
11. It's never too late.
12. Things WILL fall into place.
13. There's "perfect" and there's a whole other kind of perfect, which is still PERFECT.
14. Renting a place isn't the most wise idea economically, but it still puts a roof over your head, which is priceless.
15. You control your own health, recovery and healing.
16. A big project can come together even better than if you were to do it on your own, especially if it's with some of your favourite people.
17. It's even more fun in the kitchen when you have wonderful kitchen tools.
18. One stagette is good, but two is even better!
19. Positivity and possibility changed my life.
20. It's quite a challenge to keep your feet on the ground when you're in the midst of a wonderful life change.
21. If you're fortunate enough to find your soulmate, there are moments when your souls go through series of exchanges.
22. Heaven is not far away at all.
23. It's pretty easy to snorkel.
24. I actually do wish I could go back to hula (OMG, I said it).
25. The ocean is very salty.
26. The world of greeting cards for husbands is a mystical place...and will make you stay at Hallmark even longer (yes, it's possible).
27. Whatever sized crap hole you're sitting in and trying to get out of, it helps to be both grateful for and mindful of what the lesson is that you're supposed to learn from it...and then learn it.
28. It's simple...really, it ALL is.
29. I can run a marathon.
30. ANYTHING is possible.
31. Setbacks make you appreciate reaching your goal even more and remind you of how badly you want it.
32. Ten years isn't really that long, but twenty years is.
33. A tree is only a Christmas tree when you learn to love it, no matter how fat or heavy it is.
34. It's not so bad running in the cold.
35. The most important relationship in my life is the one I have with God, and it just so happens that nourishing that one nourishes all my other ones.

*Thanks to Lei for starting this years ago. :) ♥

Something nice

One of the good things about email is that during the week when we're too busy to call each other and chat, my husband emails me and says the funniest things that make a dull day like today a little bit more fun.

People Change

People say kids are mean. I was a mean kid, maybe almost a bully. I actually had forgotten about it for a while, probably more like I pushed it to my subconscious. Every so often I dream of someone who sorta symbolizes that part of my past, and now I remember what it is this person represents. I can't believe I was like that, and now that I realize what effect it took on the people in my life at the time, people who are thankfully still in my life now, it pains me to know that that kind of memory lasts, even after all these years. Ugh, I think about it and the only word I can use to describe this person I was, is "ugly".

Granted, I was going through a ton of changes in my life at the time, and kids aren't very knowledgeable about how to approach them, how to deal with them, the right ways and wrong ways. I guess the way I dealt with it outside of where these changes were happening, was to be "bigger" than myself, to put on a strong and resilient front, to pretend that nothing was happening and that I really was bigger than what was really happening to me inside.

I think one of the big things that changed me was something that happened a few years later in high school. I didn't realize it at the time, but the things I guess I did as a pre-teen happened to me by the very person who appears in my dreams. Yes, it was painful, but I'm grateful it happened. And who stood by me but the very people I did these things to years before. I guess I wasn't all bad, if they decided to stay by me.

I'd like to think I've changed, that I've pulled a 180^o from the person I was as a kid. OMG, I was a bully. OMG, I was in a friggin' clique. OMG, I did some of those really mean things that girls do to other girls. But I'm different now and I hope people realize that, especially people I was horrible to and people who haven't seen or known me since that time. I'd hate to have anyone think I was still that type of person.

And now that I remember what exactly it is that this person in my dreams (and in real life) represents, I understand now why I see her and feel yucky inside. It's not because she's a horrible person because she probably isn't and maybe even she's changed, but it's that when I see her, whether in my dreams or in reality, I'm brought back to a time when the person I was is the person I now hope never to be.

I know now why I've come to realize and remember this part of my life at this time in my life. In a way, I'm sort of going through it again but I'm on the receiving end, where I'm dealing with someone who was, in many ways, just like my kid-self. I've had many challenges, many lapses, where I think I'm doing okay, dealing with it, and then I feel like I fall apart and go right back to where I started. I think remembering is going to help me heal this open wound that I face these days, and hopefully the healing will be for good. I hope that maybe one day, this person will go through life changes like I did, and maybe one day we'll actually be able to get along genuinely.

I was up all night, remembering all sorts of things about my past. I couldn't sleep for fear that the person I was still exists deep inside me. I know though, that I've changed for the better in many ways, that I must be doing something right because I look at my life now and I'm very pleased. I've got a wonderful family, friends who love me and whom I love, a life that I wanted and now have, AND, my husband who can't be described sufficiently in any existing words. My husband stayed up all night with me last night, and he, being the amazing man he is, reminded me of what kind of person I am now. I guess it took that part of my past to shape me into the person I am now, and so I am grateful for that.

Watch. It.

After two failed attempts to watch this movie (at Eglinton Town Centre Cinemas), we finally watched it today. The first try, it was sold out. The second try, which was supposed to be part of our New Year's eve date, only first row seats were available. Well, sucks to us for going to the theatre so late anyway. Today, we left an hour and a half before the showing (yeah, we were NOT going to miss it this time) and ended up at Fairview mall, which was where we'd said we'd go next time we watch a movie anyway. What a good decision! I honestly think we missed out on the showings at Eglinton because well, with Fairview being a new theatre and all, it was bound to be clean and shiny and new. Not only that though...

IT SMELLS LIKE A NEW CAR!!!!

Husband and I were walking towards the theatre and we both stopped and looked at each other and were like, "Smell that?!" and proceeded to sniff, sniff, sniff. We were THIS close to crawling around on the floor like hounds sniffing for coke. Go there, and get it while it's still FRESH!! (Yes, two things I could smell forever: a new car and babies.)

Anyway, about the movie, I thoroughly enjoyed it, from beginning to end. I've wanted to watch this for a while now. One of my coworkers is a movie reviewer and has his own entertainment website (www.thegate.ca) so he usually gives me the heads-up about movies that he thinks I'll like. This one really interested me, and not because it co-stars Brad Pitt (I'm over you, Brad).

It's actually kinda hard to say what exactly it was that I loved about this movie so much. Granted, I love almost every movie that's made me cry, but this one was just feel-good-feel-good-feel-good. There's also something about knowing when the movie is approaching its end that helps your mind settle.

I'm not sure if there's anyone else in the world who'll get what I'm about to say, but it's one of those movies that makes you feel so emotional and so appreciative of life, that you want to cry for hours after the movie. Usually I don't, but this time, I actually did. People looked at me on the escalator down from the theatre and back to reality...and poor husband, when I get emotional like this, he gets to sit around and watch me in both wonder and confusion, while I cry, clinging to his arm. Ha ha ha ha!!!

Anyway, watch it. Seriously. Like my brother's friend said about it, "It's the best movie I've seen in a long time."