"Be your own person. Don't try and copy other people. Don't be awestruck by what you perceive others as having accomplished. Don't judge your achievements against those of someone else. You're the best you that ever will be, and nobody can accomplish your goals as efficiently and effectively as you can. So, instead of searching for a role model, become one yourself." - Norman Vincent Peale
I got a free cookie from Subway today. I liked them on Facebook and got access to a coupon for a free cookie :) And, I was feeling like trying a Chicken Teriyaki sub (which I've never had), and well, it was the Subway deal of the day! Go me! It was delicious.
Before heading out for lunch though, I found out that this was happening just next to wear I work:
Scary. The overhang actually collapsed, not sure how, but there were no injuries, just a lot of spectators, including me. The building didn't have to be evacuated either and everyone was assured we were all still safe. I wonder if it was at all related to the weather. It was very wet and cold today.
Then tonight, after taking a shower, I was all dressed and ready to walk out of the bathroom when FLOOM! My foot slipped and I came around 70 degrees close to doing the splits. In the process of trying to maintain my balance, I pulled something in my groin area and had trouble walking. Yuck. I'm just glad I didn't go the full 180 degrees on the splits! EEK!
I am grateful for peanut butter and chill evenings with D.
I love peanut butter. I haven't had it in a while, but I had some today on my toast and I've fallen back in love. I actually forgot about the jar sitting in my office desk drawer. Mmmmm...delicious.
With it being a Tuesday and all, it was a D-nut & me night. We sat in bed and watched TV together after dinner and he was so cute--he tucked himself into a blanket and between shows looked at me and said, "Comfy? Comfy." He wasn't keen on getting out of bed to brush his teeth (which he usually gets excited about), but in no time, we were back in bed, getting ready to sleep.
We sometimes dream about having multiples. We think about 2 boys, 2 girls, 1 girl and 1 boy, identical, fraternal.... Twins are in my family -- my Dad's a twin, and I have two sets of twin cousins on my Dad's side. For both pregnancies, one of the things my first ultrasounds checked for, other than dating, was how many babies were in my uterus. We often wonder if the future holds twins for us.
The swelling has begun. A few months later than last time, but it's here. My wedding band is snug (I shoved it on this morning after putting on lotion and will likely have to pry it off tonight with more lotion) and my feet feel like they're gonna bust out of my shoes. I'm doing my best to keep hydrated and flush extra fluids out (which comes easily since this child is bouncing on my bladder and getting lower and lower), but I think my body has just decided that it's time to retain water. I'm scared to look at my nose for longer than 3 seconds.
Feeling tired, I lay down in bed after eating dinner and cleaning up, and familiarized D-nut with the word, "Tired". It clicked right away. "Momma, oo ty-yed?" "Yes, babe." "Okay Momma." Mr.S looked at me with pity and sympathy at the same time, and the good man he is, asked me what he could do without actually saying it. I asked him to rub my feet. And he did. I remember needing him to rub my feet a lot more when I was Pw/D, so he knows what he's doing. D-nut was curious as to what was going on so he came to look. Then Mr.S taught him how to rub Momma's feet. They each took a foot, my left one being a bit more tickled because of the tiny hands that played with my toes, and I just watched them and felt like the Queen. Not A queen. THE Queen. As in, of the Universe or something. It was so cute, I wanted to take a picture, but Mr.S insisted that I stay lying down and just enjoy it. And I did.
I am grateful for clean clothes, team work, and Oscar fashion.
Today was devoted mostly to laundry, as many weekends are. After our usual Sunday, we had a good nap and then I was off to do some washing. I think because we have so much laundry over the course of a week, it just feels good when it's all done and all clean. The folding, though? I could go without it. Unless there's something good on TV, it just feels like a bigger chore than it is (which is a BIG chore). Luckily, both the NBA all-star game was on (which I don't mind watching...it's the Raptors games that frustrate me haha) as was the Oscars and the Oscar Red Carpet, of course! Since we both were interested in what was on TV, Mr.S and I both folded the laundry, while D-nut entertained himself...something he's getting better and better at every day.
D's getting older and the number of funny moments he has is increasing every day. He's got a lot to say, and not many words to use, so he uses what he can and often surprises us. He's got full sentences going on, some of which need some translation when they're not said to us, but for the most part, he's very expressive.
Today, we were at our friends/cousin/D's godfather & aunt's house for NBA all-star weekend festivities. Their chocolate lab recently got neutered and so was sporting a cone. Having not seen him for a while, he was a very different-sized dog than last time, likely the biggest one D's ever seen so far. When we got in, D decided to just stand by the front door. "We're going inside. Are you gonna stay here?" "Yes." And he didn't move. He likely would have just stayed there if Mr.S didn't carry him in.
Having been around many dogs in his short life so far, D's not new to dog kisses. The first time he was ever kissed by a dog, he seemed totally confused, wondering why this dog's tongue had just come into contact with his face. It's like he was thinking, "THAT is a kiss?!" Well, he got kissed again tonight, and he was so funny. He just froze there. He looked at me and said, "WET!" So I wiped his face. Funny guy.
He just keeps having funny moments like this, as well as ones where he surprises Mr.S and me. For example, he keeps spitting out full sentences that have us both wow'ed and sad that he's growing up so quickly. What a big boy!!!
I am grateful for baby visits, detergent and good veggie burgers.
My coworker who has been on maternity leave since November dropped in today with her 3-month-old daughter. I feel like I should just stop typing right here because I need to reflect and remember what it felt like to hold an itty bitty baby again. What a cutie pie. She woke up just as we got out of the elevator to our floor (I met them at reception and brought them to our floor since she left her access pass at work) and did a whole strettttttch, yawwwwn thing before she just started looking around. So cute. I got to hold her and oooooh, she smelled so good and ooooooh, she was so light and cuddly!! She made me remember what it's like to have a little baby to hold and sniff all day long.
Later in the afternoon, I was eating my snack -- a plum, among other things, and then I had a meeting with my manager. Halfway through our conversation, as I was adjusting my boday (i.e. my big body...my body feels so big I feel like it's my "boday") in the chair, her eyes opened WIDE and she had a bit of panic in her voice, "Are you OKAY?!" I looked down, and saw red drips on my belly. From my plum. I just started laughing, and told her that it was most likely plum juice from the plum I ate and I had no idea how long I was walking around with drippings on my shirt. After our meeting, I went to the washroom and diluted the juice stain with water and soap, hoping that the stain would come out. It faded a bit, but I hope after an actual wash, it'll go away...because I was wearing one of the only maternity tops I own that I actually like!
Update: The stain came out!! YAY!
For lunch, with it being Friday and Lent as I mentioned on Wednesday, I had my very first veggie burger. I figured that I'd try one from a pretty good burger place because the chances of it being good were higher if everything else from there is good. I made sure too to ask my Vegetarian friend if it was a good burger, and she recommended I try it. And it was delicious. Bonus: I didn't feel bloated and ready to burst after eating, which I usually feel after having a hamburger from that joint, and I could taste the mix of mushrooms, rice and veggies in the burger. It was really good.
D loves dogs. Our friends and family who have dogs all tell us we should get a dog for him. We're not the type of parents who get their kids anything they like, but we've often talked about one day getting a dog, with one day being years and years into the future. I don't know much about dogs. I've never owned a pet with fur before. If we do ever get a dog, we'd of course, educate ourselves first. Any responsible dog owner-to-be would. It's not a light decision -- you're adding to your family, and like responsible parents about to have a baby, you research these things. This family did just that with both their baby and bringing their baby home to their dog. Completely unexpected, their story ended in tragedy, and they'll never completely know why.
What happened to this family is one of the main reasons we wouldn't get a dog for years. It's not that I don't trust them. It's just a precaution. And I do know of more stories that are unlike this one, where the dog is actually a huge help to the family with a new baby. It's just the idea of an anomaly that's enough to scare me. Plus, there are perks to not having a dog for a long time, like having your older children help with caring for it and learning responsibility in that sense.
So yeah, if we have any pets over the next few years, they'll likely live in a tank or cage.
I have this colleague. She's 63, going on 30. Seriously. The most youthful 63-year-old I've ever met, funny, easy to work with, and very no nonsense. I love her. I forget that she's old enough to be my mother, and is just a few years younger than my parents. She's been through a lot in her life, and is never shy to share with me what she's learned. She's also always open to hearing about things I've learned in my life so far, especially things that she never experienced in her younger years. Always asking how I'm feeling, always inquiring as to how the pregnancy is going after my doctor appointments, always helping me ease any stress when I tell her I'm having an issue at work....we have a very good working relationship. She makes me miss her when she talks about retirement, and even I'm talking about maternity leave. Because when it's time for me to come back, she'll be working on closing up shop on her career.
Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent in our church. It's a period of time where we can prepare ourselves for the resurrection of our Saviour and to remember the sacrifice he made for us. A time for reflection and penance, I find myself thinking about what to give up or what to take on for Lent. In the past few years, I decided to take on more, and this year, I haven't yet decided what I'd like to do. I know, I'm already a little late given that today is already Ash Wednesday and that means Lent has begun. But hopefully, whatever it is, maybe I've already started giving it up or taking it on.
Lent also means giving up meat on Fridays and on Ash Wednesday. I had a seafood sub for lunch today. I love seafood subs. Subway got rid of theirs for some reason, so whenever I want one, I make my way to Mr.Sub.
I mentioned before that we're interviewing for my maternity leave replacement. We were iffy about the candidates interviewed so far...until today. This candidate was so good, we almost wanted to hire her on the spot. You should have seen us on the panel after I escorted her out. Giddy like school girls. I guess we were just all scared we'd (i.e. they'd) get stuck with a dud for a year.
I know I shouldn't really talk about it, but we were just really grateful to have a good interview with someone!
Wait, thank you first to Dalton McGuinty for giving us this holiday.
I woke up this morning, before Mr.S and D and just looked at them. Usually, on days when we can sleep-in, like weekends, holidays, or days off, I wake up first. Scratch that. The baby wakes up first, waking me up. He's like my internal, literally, alarm clock. I thought about past Family Days and remembered what those were like before Mr.S and I had made additions to our family.
Family Day was almost always spent with friends. The long weekend was spent at an awesome cottage scored by our friends, which was really a REALLY big house in Collingwood, close to the Blue Mountain slopes. We'd spend the weekend hanging out, making our own meals, snowboarding (or skiing), and then head home some time on Family Day. We haven't done that in a while, with everyone growing up and having other things to do as well as other expenses, but those were good Family Days too.
This one was no exception. In fact, so far, this has been the best Family Day ever, as sponsored by Mr.S. He just really went out of his way to make today special for his family and I felt so full today, I had to keep tissues handy.
We headed to Fantasy Fair, which was a very common idea for families today. Although we waited just over an hour for tickets (we didn't bother getting a day pass since we figured we'd be back), it was worth it for Mr.D. We just wanted him to get on a few rides and have some fun. And that he did! He also really liked being able to walk around instead of being in his stroller (this was while in line....no way could we walk around with him with the crowds today!) and found himself interacting with other kids who were waiting to board rides just like him. I love watching his face light up, whether it's at something completely new to him, or something that makes him happy. His phrase of the day was, "I LIKE IT!!" (By the end of the day, he also started to ask "Why?" for everything...which will be a totally new adventure now. I have no idea where that came from.) After he looked like he was going to pass out, we decided to leave, with plenty of tickets still in hand for a future visit (perhaps his birthday).
We found ourselves having an early dinner at our favourite fish and chips place (don't you love it when the places you like are open on holidays?) and then headed home for a good nap. D-nut ended up falling asleep on my side, hugging his brother in my belly. So sweet. Then we all took our baths, ate some snack and then went to bed to watch some Adele in concert (D-nut finally has a face to match his "Rolling in the deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep" singing in the car) before shutting our eyes for the night.
It's Family Day weekend (is that weird to say day and weekend? Whatever.)! Like I said yesterday, our To Dos for this weekend were pushed to today, so we got those covered after mass, and then headed to my sister's house for late lunch/early dinner into late/second dinner. It's been a while (by our terms) that we've all hung out together (Brother was out of town though), so this was nice. It's always nice to just hang out with my siblings. We sit around, prep food, eat, talk, eat, talk, eat, talk, put out fire caused by children, eat, talk, eat, console (at least) one of our crying children, discipline (at least) one of our children, eat, talk, and eat, and oh, talk. Lunches are almost never just lunches because they turn into dinners. Always good times.
Today I was especially grateful for D's cousins. Although they're all older than him, D had a really good time playing with them tonight. It was the cutest thing and as I sat there watching them all play with him, letting him be bossy, listening to him laugh his hardest laugh, I tried not to cry at how full my spirit felt at his joy. When we got in the car to head home, we asked him if he had a good time with his cousins and he said, "Yes! Fun! Cousins!" And after a few seconds, he fell fast asleep.
I am grateful for lazy days and trying out new places to eat that end up good.
Pretty much everything we were saying we had to do this weekend (which actually isn't much), and had previously decided we'd do today, we pushed to tomorrow. It was just a really lazy day. Instead we hung out at home in our pjs for a good chunk of the day.
Then we decided to get up, brave the snow, and go eat. We tried out a Korean place in the area and were happy with what we got. They were a little slow on the service with only two wait staff, but despite that, we've added it to our places-we-like-to-eat list. Nice. We ended up being so full, we had to try really hard to stay awake!
We dress down on Fridays. It's not really a rule at work, but we just do it. And thank goodness, because dressing up for work is a task these days. I have very little to choose from and am trying very hard not to have the same cycle of clothes every week. It gets frustrating, especially if laundry and ironing haven't made their way to my to do list. But casual clothing is much easier to get to. And really, who cares if my tshirt is wrinkled? I can blame my jacket.
I don't think it's a secret that Mr.S and I would like to have a big family. I came from a big family and I have nothing bad to say about it. Yes it was hard at times, maybe more so than if we were a small family, yes we didn't have everything, yes we struggled, but it's the struggles that make you stronger and give you character, experience, and a different outlook on life. Easy is boring, I think. People often tell me and have been telling me since I was a kid that it seemed/seems like it's always fun in my family. And well, it is. Never a dull moment. I had a friend who would call our house and wish she had come over because it sounded so fun. And with our family growing all the time, it's always the more, the merrier.
I was reading this this morning and the only reason I clicked on it was because the link to it said "The Duggars' startling quote". What is so startling about them wanting to have more kids if God gives them that blessing? Some people think the Duggars need to just stop, but I'm of the same mind as them. It's not like they're harming anyone by having more kids, and not like their other 19 would be neglected if they were having another child. And they're not saying they're actively trying for a 21st, they saying that child would be welcome. Would you tell God, "Okay, that's enough, I don't want anymore of your blessings"? I wouldn't. And I'm glad my parents didn't either.
Today was a really good day for being appreciated.
It started off when I found an invitation in my work inbox to my surprise baby shower. It wasn't meant for me, but I get copies of many people's invitations sent to my inbox since I do a lot of scheduling. Oops. I deleted it and pretended I didn't know anything. At first, I admit, I wasn't sure how I felt because I kinda didn't want to do anything big at work, maybe just a nice lunch with my team. Also, I work with a lot of physicians, clinicians, academics, and I wasn't sure they would even care about me in this way. But then later in the morning, my coworker who sent the invitation, apologized because she didn't know that I have access to all those calendars and I just laughed and told her that I was flattered, wasn't expecting anything and wasn't going to say anything either. And so now, my team knows I know, but everyone else who was invited still thinks I'm clueless. It's funny how they're acting around me. Anyway, my feelings about the whole thing changed when my coworker told me about all the offers of help and yeses she got once she sent the invitation. I guess I underestimated my presence here!
We also started interviewing for my maternity leave replacement today. My boss asked me to be on the interview panel, which I thought was kind of odd because I wasn't sure I wanted the responsibility of finding the "new me". Anyway, after the interviews, feelings were mixed. And the issue wasn't capacity or ability (I could do this job with my eyes closed and hands tied behind my back, which was what I wanted -- an easy job that I could leave at work and just go home from to my family every weekday). It was personality. We debriefed after and an outpouring of frustration and fear came out of my fellow panel members. "We just need another Katrina!!!!!" "What if we don't find another Katrina?!" And I sat there as they consoled themselves with, "Well, it's not permanent, it's just for over a year, we don't have to love him or her forever."
When it came time to share my feelings about the candidates, I told them how I felt, and that I had concerns about personality and fit with the team. I also found it somewhat awkward when the candidates asked questions about how I feel about the position, what my day is usually like, what I like and don't like, right in front of my boss and peers. I was told that my responses were justified and that well, I was asked to be on the panel because they felt that I'd be the best judge of finding someone just like me. Wowzers.
We have more interviews next week, so hopefully we find someone...just like me!
I'm Asian, so I'm almost obligated to post about this. But how funny is it that we (or you, I can't say I'm a completely real fan) Toronto Raptors fans, namely, we Asian Toronto Raptors fans, are so starved for a win, we react like this? Also, it helps that Jeremy Lin's pretty awesome. Awesome enough for me to care to ask Mr.S, "Okay, what's the deal with Jeremy Lin?", because I actually had no idea.
Yes, I am completely coming out of the closet and confessing that I'm
not really an NBA fan anymore because I prefer our quality time spent doing
other things than oogling the TV during a basketball game. I mean, really, what wife really wants to spend time with their husband's mistress?
I am grateful for doctors running late when I'm running late.
I sorta double booked myself today. Mr.S and I took a half day because we had dentist appointments and then I had my routine doctor appointment after. Usually, when we get to the dentist early, they end up just taking us then and there, but that didn't happen this time, and so instead of running early, I ended up running late. It also didn't help that when my dentist checks out the cleaning the hygienist did, he likes to chat...which is also a big help, ultimately, because he always always has nice and informative things to say, and not necessarily about my teeth, but about life. Today, he actually talked to me about how having kids is the best thing that's ever happened to him and his wife, and how his wife's priorities completely shifted once they had kids. Her career took the back seat and the kids had shotgun. I totally get her. He was so so happy for us, as were the hygienists, and shook both my and Mr.S' hands. I love it there.
Anyway, I was running late. (We decided I'd go ahead to the doctor and Mr.S would finish his cleaning and pick me up from the doctor.) I ended up calling my doctor's office to let them know and the receptionist, who's also awesome, said I had nothing to worry about. I wasn't sure if she was being nice, or if really, it was okay that I was late because so was my OB. Turns out it was the latter (and the former too because she's just always nice). Even though I arrived almost 20 minutes late, I had 5 minutes to spare before I saw my doctor for my 3-minute appointment. She's so quick yet so thorough. And bonus, I have more ultrasounds to look forward to so we can monitor the baby's growth (gestational diabetes can often yield big babies).
I am grateful for dim sum at off hours and love letters.
We went cheap and cheerful for this V-day again, (we'll likely keep that up) and went for dim sum. With it being dinner time, you can't really find actual dim sum with the carts and stuff, so we ended up at one of our fave Chinese restaurants and ordered off the menu. Much easier for us non-Chinese-speaking folk, and a lot less sign language. It was delicious. D also entertained the other customers around us as well as his waitress friend there. Oh, and I got a very good helping of the snowpea shoots and garlic that are never on the menu, but always available. I could eat those every day.
Mr.S and I exchanged letters too. If there is ever an occasion where you think you want to give me a gift, write me a letter. Seriously. I LOVE letters. And I love love letters even more (but that doesn't mean I want you to write me a love letter....let's reserve those for Mr.S). Love letters come much less often these days, but when I see them inside a greeting card, or sitting under my pillow, I think those are some of my happiest moments. I just sit and read and cry.
And you know what that means! You better have reservations for that restaurant you were planning to go to tonight! Or have a back-up plan!
Haha.
Mr.S and I aren't big on Vday. As my father-in-law said this morning (among other funny things related to the topic), it's "for young ones." We do "celebrate" it though. We're going out for a cheapo dinner (and these days, cheap is romantic for us, people!) and exchanging $5 gifts as we've done in the past. We celebrate our love every day, so today's no different. Hahaha.
Anyway, have you checked out the Google Doodle today? It's really cute. Turn down your speakers though. It was kinda loud.
Oh, and did you watch SNL this weekend? My homegirl, Zooey Deschanel, (yes, she's my homegirl, because she feels like my best friend, even though I don't know her) was hosting and even though I slept and missed the whole thing, I did watch clips of some of the sketches. Her monologue was good too.
Has your Valentine ever forgotten about Valentine's day? Mine has. Or well, he didn't forget, he just didn't have time, with midterms and stuff going on at the same time. And if you know me, I'm not a big understander of the excuse, "Sorry, I didn't have time." Because to me, if something means something to you, you make time. I've come to understand the excuse more these days as my time has been filled up with mom-things, wife-things, work-things, pregnancy-things, being-tired-things, life-things, but I try to make sure that the people involved in the time I should be making understand that I wasn't able to make time, and promise to try in the near future. So yeah, Mr.S said that one Vday he didn't have time, and this was back when we actually celebrated V-day with actual gifts and stuff. But you know what? The year after, he TOTALLY made it up. Like, FO REAL. That day went down in history as one of the days in my life where I felt super duper special.
Anyway, Happy V-day, y'all! Have a good one, whether you're of a couple or a singleton. You don't have to be in love to celebrate love!
I got a Treeh's Treats order for tomorrow. I haven't been taking orders for a while because I've been pregnant (and therefore tired/lazy haha) and because all my baking stuff is packed away, but I did make an exception today, and well, my customer was one of my best friends, so nevermind the rules! Just kidding. But yeah, I'm grateful for that order. I haven't baked in a while and these days, I especially enjoy baking things that I can make extra of and feed to D-nut whose palate is totally new to much of these things. It means a lot when the people you love enjoy the food you make. I whipped up some Brookies and made a little extra batter for us to enjoy, using the hand mixer that Mr.S picked up on a big sale day. (It was really cute -- we don't buy each other stuff, but this time, he bought the hand mixer, a good one, on SUPER sale, and handed it in a bag to me saying that he thought it would be nice for me to be able to bake since my mixer isn't with us. He knew that even though I decided to take a break from baking&selling, my break from baking wasn't voluntary.) I really enjoyed baking tonight. It didn't matter to me what time it was when I finished (I was totally unaware of time today -- I almost missed one meeting because I was enjoying my lunch and left work 37 minutes after I was supposed to because I simply wasn't paying attention!), or that I had loaded the sink with dishes, I just enjoyed the smell in the house, trying out and enjoying the hand mixer, and the taste testing. Ohhhh, how I miss being in the kitchen.
While I did all this, Mr.S tackled the laundry. I like when he does the laundry, and not just because it means I don't have to do it. Laundry has become the bane of my existence. With my growing belly, it has become increasingly difficult to reach into the machine to unload washed clothes and also to even sort clothes...all that bending into the hamper gets really tiring. And so when he said he'd do the laundry, I cried a few tears of joy inside. For reals. Anyway, when he does laundry, it's kinda cute. He asks the funniest questions even though he's serious, and is very careful about what can and can't go in the dryer. Sometimes if he's not sure, he just hangs it instead, and I'll find things like an old tank top hanging to dry. He ended up doing ALL the laundry last night, not just some, and that means that I don't have to do ANY laundry this week. My back just shed a tear, if that's possible.
I am grateful for friendly parishioners and Adele (duh!).
Our parish has been our parish since I moved out from my parents' house in 2005. I had first started going there occasionally as it was my sister's (and family) parish, and then when I moved into the area, I started going there with Mr.S. We felt instantly welcome and instantly spiritually fulfilled, which, I think, is really important when you join a new parish. Then we got married there, our son was baptised there, and even though we live no where near the area and haven't lived there since 2008, we still go there. We don't believe you should have to attend the church in your area just because it's the church in your area. We've always said that even when we live even farther away, we'll still go there, at least for Christmas and our anniversaries. It's things like making friends with fellow parents of young kids, that make Sundays even more special. And with someone like D sitting with us, it's very easy to make friends.
Tonight was the Grammys. Oh goodie! I love awards shows, all the glitz and glamour, all the performances, but really, what I've been looking forward to was seeing Adele perform again. She hadn't performed in months due to her surgery, so this was first performance since. And she was, as the British say, BRILLIANT. You couldn't even tell she just had surgery. Ugh, I can't wait to go see her in concert again. I went on and on about her last time so much that Mr.S would like to go see her in concert too. She's just amazing.
And speaking of amazing, Jennifer Hudson's tribute to Whitney Houston. Ugh.
I, like many others today, an grateful for Whitney Houston.
She passed away today. How sad. Everyone who loved her music has at least one Whitney Houston memory. Mine is from waaaaaaaaaaaay back when I was a kid. My cousins and I used to sing, holding hands, "The Greatest Love of All" like it was a concert and we were the performers. I wish I had access to the pictures we had of us singing. I don't even think we knew all the words (that didn't stop us from making them up, probably), nor what the song was about, but we sang it anyway. Good times.
What we know of her life was what the media told us. We were never insider her home, her head, her life to know what exactly was going on when she had a drug addiction, when she had a troubled marriage, and of course, when she was on top. Some people make it up there and come tumbling down. And I really had faith that she was going to rise up, especially after the Oprah interview in 2010. Despite what happened, and all the misfortune that came her way, I am so grateful for the music and the talent she share with the world.
I'm getting my first ever prenatal massage tomorrow morning. I'm SO excited, I think I'm tensing up even more because of it. This massage was actually a gift from our unborn son, and so in a way, he'll get to reap the benefits of this massage too. I don't even know where to begin to thank him. I've felt so misaligned and tweaky (I couldn't think of an actual word, so I made one up), so I'm really looking forward to the whole thing... Thanks Baby S II!!! :)
Post-post: I TOTALLY needed that. I was curious as to how they'd massage me given that I can't lie on my stomach, and it was done on both sides with it start with me lying on my back for my scalp (ooooooh!) and neck (ahhhhh!) massage. Holy jeebus, Batman, that was good. Especially with my heavy head that now has more thicker than your average thick head of hair.
Like with D, we have a name picked out, but haven't told anyone. With D, we felt like his name was one of those names that had to suit its owner, so we didn't want to confirm it until we actually saw him. And when we saw him, we both knew, he was D.
But with this baby, we picked out his name after D was already crawling around. It wasn't one of the names we jotted down in the list of names we liked (which have almost all now become "trendy" names, darn) and started well before we were married though (also around the time we started buying baby clothes haha!). It kinda just showed up and we both liked it.
And until now, it stuck. We feel like we just know that this baby is this name, and so we weren't afraid to share it with D, who can't really pronounce it. But, he understands that when we say it, it means the baby in Momma's belly. If we say, "Kiss ___!" he'll go directly to my belly(button) and kiss it. If we say, "Where's ___?" he'll point to my belly. But if you say, "Who's that?" and point to my belly, he won't say the name, but instead will say "Baby" or even "Puppy" or whatever he feels like saying is in my belly that day. It's like we didn't even have to tell him it's a secret. One time he actually did say the name (probably while singing Happy Birthday as he does these days, or as an animal on Old MacDonald's farm), but because he can't pronounce it properly, no one caught on ;)
We really like having a name for the baby even though he's not born yet. Even though we really only refer to him by name with each other, it's nice to say out loud too.
How'd you wake up this morning? I was greeted with a leg cramp. Rude awakening, seriously. I went to hold my leg and it felt like a jumbo marble had embedded itself in my calf muscles. FOR REAL. I whisper-yelled (you know what that is) "LEG CRAMP!!" at Mr.S who woke up freaked out like I yelled, "I'm going in to LABOUR!" and like a robot, he did that calf stretch we learned a few years ago in our pre-natal class. (Groggy, he did it on the wrong leg at first and then I whisper-yelled "OTHER LEG!!!!") Relief. But because he was so tired, I felt bad and told him it was okay before it was actually okay and stretched it out some more on my own. 4.5 hours later, my leg is still tight, but not cramped, thank goodness. I even found myself stretching in the middle of the parking lot at the subway station this morning because I was having trouble walking from the car.
I only had 2 leg cramps when I was Pw/D and you know what I was thinking about before I fell asleep last night? "Yesss! I haven't had any leg cramps!"
Mr.S and I had a conversation about this yesterday. It started with me asking, "Should I really go without the drugs this time?" And was followed by him responding, "PLEASE take the drugs." The man was begging, and looked like he feared for not just my life and welfare, but his own too. I was shocked.
The last time we talked about this a few months ago, we were both cool with trying it out drug-free if I'm not induced. I guess since there are only 8-10 weeks left (WTH, FOR REALS?!??!), the reality of it has sunk in.
"I really think you should just take the drugs."
"What if you change your mind and it's too late? Just get it."
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
Talk about peer pressure from your greatest peer. We went over why I don't want to do it if I don't really have to and the conversation kind of ended with an, "I'll think about it" from both of us. We'll revisit this in a few weeks.
Oh and I read this the other day. Oh, if I have a labour this quick, I can totally do this drug-free!
It's just always nice to get on the subway and have people offer their seat to you, or have a nice conversation with you, even if it's just for a few stops.
I overate at dinner. My stomach's been weird lately. It seems to be going back to earlier on in the pregnancy where I feel full until I eat again (and I'd only be eating again because it was about time to eat again), and when I start eating my next meal, that's when I start to feel hungry. And then I don't feel full until I realize just how much food I ate, and half an hour later, I feel so full, I'm practically immobile. I think the hormone that tells you you're full isn't kicking in at the proper times. It's probably also got to do with the fact that I have to keep my blood-sugar levels at around the same area all day so I feel like I haven't stopped eating since Christmas.
And so, having ate too much at dinner (which, when I think about it, isn't more than I usually eat when I'm not pregnant), I was full well into when it was time to go to bed. I felt like I had just eaten. And with heartburn city growing in my body, I didn't feel like I could sleep. I was tired though.
So, I retired to my bed. Or I should say my pillows that just happen to have a bed underneath. I sleep with a ton of pillows. I just need them. I need to sleep on a slight incline to avoid getting heartburn. (How much does it suck to wake up in the middle of the night because of heartburn? More than it sucks to wake up for the 3rd time because you have to pee!) That means I sleep on 2 or 3 pillows. Then I need a pillow on either side for under my belly and between my knees otherwise my hips and back are going to kill when I get up for all the bathroom trips I make. And sometimes the discomfort makes me go back to bed instead of going pee...and that's okay because sometimes I don't really have to pee, I just feel like I do because this little guy won't get off my bladder. Then I have another pillow along the bottom, because sometimes I like to straighten my legs but still need something between my knees.
I don't think I need to explain any further why I'm grateful for pillows.
It's no secret. I Love Ellen DeGeneres...yes, in italics with a capital L. Anyway, she's put out Ellen's Dance Dare and basically, it's getting footage of you dancing in and around strangers without them knowing. Hilarious. And the first person I thought of was my cousin...this is totally something she could do, and she's easily the funniest cousin I have (sorry, other cousins, but you know she's our funniest cousin!)
I am grateful for good transit time and easy bedtimes.
I decided to go out for lunch today and was thinking about a rosti from Richtree or Marche (what's the deal with them again?), which happened to be the Tuesday special this month! I decided to walk to the nearest one, when, lo and behold, a streetcar pulled up just as I got to the intersection. So, I made use of my Metropass and took the subway for 2 minutes on what would otherwise be a 10ish minute walk. It was a nice day, but me and walking don't seem to mix these days, plus I was hungry. After lunch, I was ready to walk it back, and walk off my lunch, but I was pretty full and well, in pulled another streetcar back to my work's main intersection! BONUS!!!
With it being Tuesday, Mr.S was at basketball and it was just me to put D-nut to bed. I got him in his jammies early and we brushed his teeth (i.e. he sucked the safe-to-swallow toothpaste and then I did the brushing) early too so that he was ready for bed when he felt like it. We hung out in our room and watched Glee and after being playful for a while, he ended up sitting on the bed, watching with me...and then he was lying down and watching with me....and then the next thing I heard was snoring. He must've been tired. That was easy. Most nights, he's still moving around, talking, singing, a good 20 minutes after saying his nightly prayers. It was nice to have an easy bedtime on a Tuesday night.
I am grateful for beautiful days in the middle of winter.
Did you guys see what it was like outside today? I looked out my window and it looked like mid-spring! I didn't get a chance to go outside all day because I was pretty busy at work (with occasional breaks to post and such!), but when I did get to leave the office (an hour and a bit later than usual due to a meeting, darn), it was still nice outside and still kinda bright and mild! That was nice. Thanks, Mother Nature!
My cousin celebrated a birthday this weekend at her house. All women. Eating. Talking. Buying jewellery. This was my first jewellery party and I quite enjoyed it...I ended up buying 2 pieces for under the permissible budget as agreed with Mr.S, and I'm so excited for when I get them!! I'm not a big jewellery-wearer, but the pieces I bought are ones that I can wear any day with any outfit and they're so pretty. I think I only started actually accessorizing (if you can even call it that) during my last pregnancy because I'd go into stores and could only wear their accessories since I couldn't fit in any of the clothes. And now, since most of my stuff is packed away, I find myself looking for stuff to make my outfit look less "maternity". Yes, I've cleared my drawers of most of my non-maternity wear and stocked them with maternity clothing. I feel like a kangaroo...with some pretty jewellery. Haha!
D-nut's favourite movie right now is Finding Nemo. He watches at least twice a week and sits still for a good chunk of the movie, when most kids lose interest after the opening credits. He doesn't have this attachment to any other movie so far. And so, because he will sit still and watch, it's also a really good movie to put on when he's gotten super-hyper even though he's tired, and you need him to just sit still and relax.
I am grateful for early bedtimes = one-on-one time with the Hubster.
We've been lucking out lately. After work, D-nut has been extra playful and sometimes so hyper that he crashes earlier than usual. Even though this means less time to play with him, we feel like we've gotten the usual, and maybe more, amount of playtime with him because he's just in the mood to play. He's been falling asleep at times 30 mins-1hour before his usual time, and so that means that me and Mr.S get to lie in bed and watch movies.
Yes, that's what we do when we have time alone. We catch up on movies. And often, they're movies we've already seen, but that's okay, because it's nice to just sit together and watch stuff together. Even if sometimes we look at each other in the middle (or sometimes the beginning!) of the movie and say, "I'm sleepy." Which means, "Forget it, let's use this time to catch up on sleep instead. Turn it off."
Our viewings as of late have been LOTR on Blu-ray.
The Fellowship of the Ring is around 4 hours long. It took us 4 days to watch it. So, in our time, 1 hour = 1 day's worth of viewing (we finished tonight and started The Two Towers). We hope to finish the entire series before the end of the month. We'll see. As long as we finish before The Hobbit comes out!
So it's common knowledge that I'm short. (Captain Obvious!) Having cooked allllmost every day this week (I was having leg/hip issues on Wednesday, so Mr.S took care of dinner), I've been remembering how much easier I imagine it probably is to slice and dice when you're average height. I only know what it's like from my height, but I'm sure it's easier to exert the force and control needed when you're a bit higher than I am above the kitchen counter.
And so, dreaming about my dream kitchen, I think about the raised platform I'd have (that Mr.S could remove if he felt like chopping up some stuff) that'd make my life easier. It could maybe work like a church kneeler where you can move it up or down by hinges on the sides, or maybe it could tuck neatly underneath the cabinets.
And since I was in high school, I've been dreaming about having a library ladder along my cupboards so I don't have to keep hauling the stool over to get stuff I need (or holler for Mr.S to ask for a favour, i.e. "Can you get that for me please?" *pointing upwards and grunting at the thing I need*). I thought the idea was so original, I invented it, but I've seen it on TV in places like Ricardo's kitchen (you can see it blurry in the background).
Then there's the issue of if the kids would like to help me out in the kitchen. I have a feeling when D-nut's a bit bigger, he'll want to help me make cookies, or at least watch me make them and drool all over the counter (I'll just let him watch/help when we're making our own cookies in case some of that drool ends up in the dough). I'd totally welcome it, but with his current record of stool usage, I'm not sure how good of an idea this is...
He was playing a game with himself last night while I put together a Taco Bake, where he'd sit on a stool, yell, "Ready, Seck, GO!" (isn't that so cute?) and run over to the couch and come back. On what-I-made his last run, he ran right into the table and then slipped and landed on the floor. Good times.
BUT, I learned about this today, the Luca and Company Little Helper Fun Pod, which makes it safe for kids to help in the kitchen on a stool....in a box. I bet it'd also be a good tool to use for time outs. It could go in the corner for those. (Haha.) I wonder if it's cheaper to make one though.
So while wandering around Ellen's YouTube channel after watching this for the 3rd time, I found the clip of Ellen and Michelle Obama doing pushups that I meant to watch a few days ago. See here:
One year, Mr.S, Brother and I started a new year's resolution (but it was really more for fun...and like most resolutions, didn't last) to do push-ups and sit-ups before dinner. We did it for a few weeks and then forgot about it. Brother and I enjoyed it, but Mr.S, I'm not sure. He's not crazy like us. Brother and I used to do Gilad's Bodies in Motion with our sisters growing up. He's still super-fit (where did he get those "guns"?!) and me? Well, I'll make the excuse that I'm pregnant and can't work out. Ha! In recent years, Brother and I also used to play Push-up War, which was inspired by Jimmy Fallon's Water War. I can't remember how many push-ups we'd have to do after losing a war, but it got pretty fun. I think I'd like to play this with him after the spring, i.e. 6 weeks after Baby is born.
I love push-ups. I don't do them even half as much as I should, but when I think about doing them, I get pumped up. Watching Ellen and Michelle Obama do push-ups is making me feel like doing push-ups now, only I'm not sure I could do them well/properly with this belly. I think I'm gonna give it a try and see. I'll let you know how it goes. And you know, I'm over 100lbs now so this should be interesting!
I am grateful for Groundhog day, the film and the verdict.
We've been having a very mild winter. I'm not going to complain, except to say that I kinda wish we had more snow so that D-nut could play outside more. But there'll be other winters, and he had a taste of playing in the snow at least. I can't do much except lie in the snow (on my side), so I'm grateful for this mild winter. Wiarton Willie apparently said spring is just around the corner, so that's good news to me!
I'm not sure if I missed it, but was Groundhog Day on TV anywhere this Groundhog Day? I could watch that movie over and over again...get it? But yeah, I always find myself amused, and for some reason, Bill Murray's films bring me back to my childhood. Or at least Groundhog Day and the Ghostbusters films.
I read this article yesterday and it brought back memories. Mr.S and I just talked about this a few days ago too.
I don't know if I would lie about my children's ages for special benefits. Maybe if they really wanted something from the kids menu and they were over the age, I would. But I don't know if I'd do it for our own benefit. I learned when I was a kid, that there's some excitement that comes with being treated your age.
My parents asked for the kiddie placemats until I was around 16. I had to pretend I was younger than my brother at times, who's around 2.5 years younger than me. It was embarrassing. I was 4 years over the age limit, I wanted to order from the adult menu, but I was told to order a meal that came with a toy, and was ordered from a placemat that came with crayons. It was embarrassing. I watched movies with my parents and they would sometimes ask me to close my jacket so I didn't look like an overdeveloped 13-year-old. I stopped watching movies with my parents. It was embarrassing.
In case I haven't made it clear, it was embarrassing. I resented my parents for taking advantage of the fact that I was shorter than nearly every other girl my age, and for not welcoming me to adolescence. Instead I felt like I was stunted into being a child, paid for as a child, and often treated like a child, all because it was easier on their wallets.
It was only when I thrusted myself into adulthood, that I think I really surprised them. Instead of lashing out like many teenagers do, complaining and rebelling, I talked to them like an adult, I showed them what I knew, I was responsible and became more and more independent. I think that in all that pretending I was a child, they forgot that it was just pretend. My father even forgot my age one time, and told our neighbour that I was 15. I think at the time, I was going on 19.
So, if I do lie about my kids' ages, it won't be for long anyway.
My leg and hip were acting up today. It got so bad tonight that I had trouble walking and could only sit on the couch, but had to make sure I was sitting at an obtuse angle. I've had trouble with leg and hip before, but it felt worse, being pregnant, with the extra weight. I don't know what it is about the right side of my body, but it's just not as awesome as my left side...with the exception of my left knee sometimes. I really have to make sure I'm a lot more physically fit with future pregnancies. This one has been unnecessarily challenging at times because I got lazy last summer and also with the conditions earlier on in this pregnancy. I feel like I've never been more excited to work out, especially because right now I can't really.
Anyway, with my hip and leg driving me out of commission, Mr.S took care of dinner and the dishes and was on D-duty while I sat on my arse. He's really sweet like that, where even though he has stuff to do, he'll make time to do what stuff I usually do, so that I can wallow in my discomfort/take a break and be pregnant and relax. It was a pizza night, which was nice. I don't know what it is about pizza and this pregnancy, but it seems to have the same effect as pickles -- it tastes even better while pregnant.
Funny, the things you come across just when you need them. It's not an article with a happy ending or something profound, it's just, well, the words of a fellow motherless mother, who remembers things that I remember, does things that I find myself doing, and dreaming of things I dream. We're all connected, we motherless mothers, and I believe that in our own grief, we grieve together, but at the same time, honour mothers, wherever they are, with the love we share with our children, the same kind of love they had for us.
This morning, after I changed D for his Wednesday, I found myself just looking at him, my heart melting, as it often does, when I just get to watch him do the things he does. On many mornings, he wakes up while I'm changing him, sometimes in a good mood, sometimes in a bad mood. I've learned that mornings as a mother are both easy and challenging in their own ways, and sometimes these moments are what dictate what kind of morning it will be. This morning, D-nut didn't wake up. He moved around a little, but he was still sound asleep. I took advantage of that and just sniffed him. Sniff kisses. Lots of them. All over his cheeks, his forehead, his hair, and especially his neck where I can sometimes find that baby smell he used to carry when he was so much younger. I whispered in his ear, "I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! So so so so so so so so so much." over and over again. And when I forced myself to stop and remember to get the other things done that I had to get done this morning, I looked at him and wondered if my own mom had done the same to me while I slept, totally unaware that she was there. I bet she did. I bet she sat on the bed too and looked at me with fond eyes and illuminated love like mothers do. I bet she whispered many "I love you"s in my ears and sniffed my smell. I bet I melted her heart.
