I am ready.

Twenty-six.

We have been apart for officially over a quarter of a century.That's a long time.

If the time we were apart were a person, they’d be celebrating their 26^th birthday today. At 26, many people are diving into their first careers, partying, finding themselves, developing hobbies, traveling…

And so, I think it’s time that I try that out with you. I think it’s time that we look into our path together, celebrate, find a place just for you and me, teach each other a few things, travel together. Imagine the places we could be together. Imagine the things we could show each other. And we’re not bound by the rules of the earth. Imagine. You and me could make up for 26 years of me thinking that we were apart, when all this time, we could have been closer than we ever could be, closer than maybe we would never be if you were still here in body.

I have you in spirit, and though the earth tells me that we are far, far away from each other, and my hand has been longing to hold yours and snuggle in the warmth of your embrace, my spirit has never once felt the coolness of an empty hand. You have always, always been there, holding my hand, helping to guide me, bringing me to places I never would have been if you were still here on earth.

But my eyes have been blind to your presence. Always longing for you and missing you and wishing I could be with you, when all this time, you’ve been right here, so patient with me, knowing that one day, I’d see the possibility and know the prospect of us still having a relationship while you’re “there” and I’m “here” is more than real; it’s happening.

I’m opening up my eyes today. Let’s go on an adventure.

Frozen

We had a fun kids-day-out yesterday and took the boys to watch Frozen. I, like many others, I’m sure, cried like a baby within the first 5-10 minutes (and then at regular intervals throughout the movie). Those Disney people sure know how to break you down quickly.

I’ll try to talk about this without spoiling the movie, but just in case, I’m going to issue a SPOILER ALERT in the event I fail miserably.

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

The movie, contrary to what most people first thought, is not about a snowman and reindeer. It’s about two sisters, their relationship, and the struggles involved. And a few more complications, but you have to watch it. Ah, now you get the crying, right?

I think the reason I cried so much was because I can relate. Being the youngest of five sisters, you can imagine how badly I wanted to play with them when I was younger. But when you’re growing up and your baby sister isn’t really in the same age group, playing with me must have been a task. There were many many times I wished we could all play Barbies or something together, but when you’re in your late teens, the last thing you wanna do or be seen doing is playing Barbies with your baby sister. And I understand that. But, there were also many, many, MANY times I got to hang out with my sisters, sometimes one-on-one, sometimes with more than one at once, whether it was going to the noodle place not too far from our house, playing with my hair, playing dress up, painting my nails (and then getting in trouble for it because we were too young to be painting our nails!), or dancing hula together.

Yes, I said hula. Sundays were my favourite days. We’d go to church together and then after, we’d go to hula. Although we weren’t in the same classes, we got to dance together sometimes, and then when we danced competitively, we danced together more often. And then sometimes we’d go out after and hang out. It was fun. I felt like a big girl, like one of the girls. I think that’s mostly why I miss dancing now, and why I’ve never gone back – because my sisters wouldn’t; although my oldest sister who lives south of the border still dances.  When we went to visit her in 2004, I had the pleasure of dancing with her again and although I was quite rusty, it felt so good to be dancing again. I think that’s why, even though it’s hard to admit, hula holds a soft spot in my heart. I see people dancing and I feel like crying (but when I see people dancing poorly, I wanna scream haha).

Then I actually grew up. And as I grew up, they had more and more things to share with me, things they wanted me to know, warnings, advice, mistakes they made and wanted me to learn from. They made my head stay on straight. And the age gap got smaller and smaller and now, well, sometimes I forget it exists. And so really, time healed that “wound” I had of wanting so badly to be like and with my sisters. Sister love is truly, truly, true love.

P.S. My brother’s not that bad either. ;)

Us, in order. Pic courtesy of my sister.

Twenty-Five

Today, 25 years ago, the world lost a beautiful woman. Slipping away for months and weeks before, she let go of the world and all she had been clinging to, things we often think impossible to let go of. A strong, loving, faithful husband. An outgoing, friendly first child. A good-headed, caring and self-less daughter. A little daredevil who was quickly becoming a nurturing woman. A smart, creative and sweet tween. A "bunky", clueless little dreamer. And a hyper, excited toddler, her only boy. Two amazing sisters, a strong mother and father who had been constants in her life, countless friends and family members. And let's not forget a life, with so many ups and downs, wins and losses, one she had worked so hard to fill, one with which she spent most of her time filling others' lives and that she spent all her time living for God. And so it was with full trust and faith that she let go of all of this and went to God, knowing that all would still be good without her being physically there. Maybe not right away, and for everyone she touched, in their own time, but it would all be okay.

to be continued...

20120916

I am grateful for Jesus and Christianity. That, unto itself, deserves a whole other post, a whole other blog, on a whole other internet, in a whole other world.

WyGuy was baptised today. It was a beautiful ceremony, following Sunday morning mass. The actual baptism itself went well -- WyGuy was asleep until he jerked at the feeling of the water on his head and some of the water went up his nose and he yelped. Oopsies. He was fine though, and just has some pretty holy nasal cavities. 

I am also very very grateful for understanding friends. It's just always nice to have friends who understand. You don't really owe them any explanation, but you give one anyway, and they understand and tell you there was no explanation needed. I love that.

Being grateful - 20120717

I am grateful for co-parenting.

There are many, many, many reasons I am grateful I am married to and am a co-parent with Mr.S. Today, we really needed each other when disciplining D-nut.

D-nut is the King of not finishing his food if he wants something else to eat. We'll be eating and he'll decide midway through the meal that he wants to eat something else (usually junk food, sometimes fruit though!) and will not eat what he's supposed to be eating. So, we tell him that he can have that other thing, but only if he finishes his actual meal first.

Tonight, he was eating pizza for dinner. He had one small piece left and decided he didn't want to eat it. He wanted to eat Smartfood. So, we told him to finish the last piece and he could have some. The boy cried and cried. He wanted Poppa to finish his last piece. So we told him if Poppa eats the last piece, Poppa eats his popcorn too. He cried and cried.

D-nut is also the King of attempted distraction. In such situations, he tries to bring up something else in an attempt to get us to forget what we just said. It never works. Maybe he got this from us -- he's easily distracted, like most kids, so we use distraction when we need him to forget about something.

So, what did he do while crying? "GASP! Where's the broccoli? I can't see the broccoli!!!!" His hand on his forehead, like he was looking for the treelike vegetable in the far-off distance on a sunny day...only his palm was facing upward.

We did not have broccoli AT ALL for dinner. I have no idea where this was coming from.

Mr.S tried to get him to stop it, but then started laughing. And then I jumped in to try to get him to stop it (and also corrected his hand - palm down) and told him if he wanted broccoli, we could find him some...and then I started laughing. Both of us had to put our heads down on the table and hide our laughing. It was horrible. He tried this again a few minutes later, looking for green grapes. We did not have green grapes either. And this time, we didn't laugh, since we got our giggles out already.

Being grateful - 20120608

I am grateful for naps on long drives.

We headed up to Blue Mountain for a nice getaway with my side of the family, and we were nervous about the drive up...but the boys slept pretty much the whole way, giving Mr.S and I some time to just talk and stuff, like old times on long drives. :)

Being grateful - 20120606

I am grateful for survival.

The boys each had shots today. And Mr.S was volunteering so I was tackling this on my own. Heaven help me. And Heaven did!

Being grateful - 20120530

I am grateful for Krazy Glue.

It fixed this:

Another sweet sweet proposal

Check this out:

Being grateful - 20120527

I am grateful for birthday celebrations with friends.

I finally celebrated my 30th birthday with friends today. It was nice to have so many there together and celebrate, well, me. Hahahahahaah! No really, it was nice to be able to do that with the people I've been closest to since I was in my teens. Here's what I wrote to them after we got home.


Hi everyone!

Thank you all so much for coming out tonight for dinner. And those who weren’t able to make it, thank you for thinking of me! [Mr.S], thanks for bringing everyone together!!

I know it’s been three weeks since my birthday, during which time many of you celebrated your own birthdays, but thank you all for your wishes over that time and today. Thank you for coming out on a Sunday night when many of you have to get up early tomorrow morning for work. Thank you for coming out to a family restaurant, to celebrate my thirtieth birthday, instead of a hip joint downtown with drinks and gourmet cuisine, and so, showing that you understand and embrace that my lifestyle is quite different from most thirty-year-olds (i.e. you guys)! I’ve been meaning to tell you guys this for a long time, but I’m so grateful that, despite how busy our lives have been and how much they’ve changed over the past few years with becoming parents to one and then two boys, our friendships with you all have never changed, never wavered, and that the only real difference has been that we just haven’t seen each other as often. You’re all such amazing aunts and uncles to our boys, and the love and care you extend to our kids makes us so happy.

That said, thank you most of all for being the most amazing friends anyone could ask for. We turned out alright, didn’t we? I’m so happy I got to celebrate turning thirty with my best friends, people I’ve grown up with, people I’ve grown to love and cherish, people who have been constants in my life for as long as I’ve known them. I am so, so blessed to have you all in my life. I love you all so much! Onward to FORTY! ;)

xo,
Treeh

Here are some pics from the night. We didn't manage to get everyone in, but I think most of us are here!

This is what our family looks like at 30.

Being grateful - 20120522

I am grateful for my Toms.

They are probably the most comfortable shoes I own (and hopefully the most comfortable shoes a child in Africa owns too!). They were packed away. Sad face.

Until today! Happy face!

With the changing weather and my body adjusting to not being pregnant (is this ever gonna stop? Haha!), I have been digging into bins of packed clothing, searching for suitable clothes for this weather, for clothes that fit me for now, and well, it's been difficult to not dig into the shoe box. No, really, it has been difficult. I don't know where my big box of shoes is. The only shoes I've had out are the ones my swollen pregnant feet could fit into, i.e. the function over form ones, and winter shoes. It's Spring.

So, since I need my runners (YAY!), I asked Mr.S if he could do some digging for me and get them out. And while there, he pulled out my Toms. Yipee!!!!!

Being grateful - 20120513

I am grateful for beautiful days on beautiful days.

Happy Mother's Day, Mothers! I love Mother's Day. I think it's partially because I love being a mother, and partially because I like having a day a week or so after my birthday where I get more presents. Just kidding about that last part.

Wasn't it such a nice day out today, for you Torontonians/GTAers? It was a beauty.

I got to do things like this...

It was so cute. We woke up D and told him he could have some popcorn, and after, blow some bubbles. There was so much open area around for him to chase after the bubbles. He was so excited, and even made some friends with people sitting around or people walking their dogs.

Pinch little guys like this...

Argh, isn't he so scrumptious?!?!? Sometimes I find myself pinching his cheeks so hard, he ends up with marks on his face. I know, bad momma, bad momma, but I can't help myself.

 And eat cold, sweet things like this...

....from a sweet thang like this! Hahahaha!

I hope your Mother's Day was a beautiful one!

Being grateful - 20120507

I am grateful for white chocolate brownies and girl talk.

I got together with two of my best(girl)friends tonight as a sort of happy birthday to me/catch up thing. We haven't had girl time in a while, with us getting together bringing our significant others (and in our case, the kids), so this was much overdue. It was so nice to get to talk about our lives, what's going on, and also the realization of how our friendship has matured over the past 15+ years.

Add to that Moxie's White Chocolate Brownie, the reason we end up there when we end up there. It was a wonderful treat from them. I love them so much.

Being grateful - 20120429

I am grateful for moments that remind you how amazing you have it.

OMPFC

It's finally coming to Canada.

Holy, double pan-fried noodles, Batman.

P.F. Chang's Coming to the Shops at Don Mills

(Thanks, SAM, for sharing! I'm so happy...and so is Mr.S!)

Being grateful - 20120414

I am grateful for loving cousins and sugar.

W is a very loved cousin. He's the newest and the second baby brother on my side of the family. All his cousins seem to want to hold him, it's so cute. Today, at their cousin's 7th birthday party, so many of them took turns holding him on the couch, using the arm rest as their arm rest and support for his head, some along with a pillow. It's the cutest thing, how they look at his face moving and admire his tiny features that are still learning to make regular movements. My heart melts at how their love and admiration for this little one is so visible on their faces. It's so sweet.

And speaking of sweet, I love sugar. I almost forgot how much with how little I was ingesting while I was preggers. Okay, no wait, I cheated a few times, but I never went overboard or anything. It was all in moderation! Anyway, birthday parties mean birthday cake...and juice and sweet stuff and foooood. I did not skimp on anything. Food makes me so happy and I didn't realize it until recently. And juice? OMG, juice is delicious. Anyway, yes, my sweet tooth is back and I'm doing my best not to go crazy.

Being grateful - 20120413

I am grateful for shared guilty pleasures.

D-nut and I did something bad today. While waiting to meet up with Mr.S after work, we had some time to kill, so we opted for a snack. We went to McDonalds. We had ice cream and medium fries and shared it. I realize that what we snacked on was actually my decision, not his. I just craved something sweet and salty and hot and cold and that was exactly what I needed. And, I figured I'd introduce my little man to this cheap snack, and if he didn't like it, he'd enjoy the ice cream and fries separately.

So, we did it. And he liked it. At first he kinda poked the ice cream with his fry, and then he was swooping in like I was. I also taught him how to lick ice cream from a cone. And then he learned what a cone was. He kept saying he wanted to try the "cookie" and I kept telling him, "No, this is called a coooonnne." "A cooooonnnne, Momma?" "Yes, a coooonnne." "Mmmm...I try... ... ...Mmmmm! I like coooommme!" "No, cooooNNNNNNNNe!" "Yeah! I like cooooome!"

So really, this snack was not only a guilty pleasure, but a lesson in food. HA!

Being grateful - 20120411

I am grateful for downtime.

Mr.S and I have been spending more quality time together after the boys are asleep. I've been finding myself eating (my stomach seems to still be on that diabetes diet, which requires a snack before bed), while he does other stuff, sometimes eating too. We did a lot of this last week too, and I guess this is just continuation of that. Also, because it's pretty late, we've been finding funny things to watch online. Sometimes the only time I have to check my email and read my blogs is late at night.

Here is one of those videos we found funny...
INJURED SOCCER PLAYER GETS BUTT TO THE FACE
(yes, you read that right.)

Being grateful - 20120409

I am grateful for survival.

Today was the first day of me being home with the two kids without Mr.S. He went back to work today.

It was a LLLLLLLLONG day.

And at the "end" of it, we met up with Mr.S, who missed the boys and me ("the boys and me"!!!) so much, he asked us to meet up with him so he could see us ASAP.

Being grateful - 20120408

I am grateful for Easter and Diaper Derbies.

Alleluia! He is Risen!

Easter is one of my favourite holidays. Aside from the fact that it celebrates the main reason for our faith, it is a time for celebration with family. I love fam jams. We didn't get around to doing an actual egg hunt this year (sorry, kids), but it was still a fun gathering.

It was especially nice for our new family of four because our family gathering also welcomed our neWest into the family. My family threw a Diaper Derby for us with our Easter celebration. It was a very nice surprise and we're so grateful for all the diapers and wipes we received (God knows we'll need them!) along with all the gifts that came along with those necessities.